


You can't fly with One Wing

by Jellofello



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Disabled Hinata Shouyou, Hinata Shouyou & Kozume Kenma Friendship, Hinata Shouyou & Tsukishima Kei Friendship, Hinata Shouyou Can't Play Volleyball, Hinata Shouyou Has ADHD, Hinata Shouyou is Sunshine, Hurt Hinata Shouyou, Illustrations, Protective Kageyama Tobio, Protective Karasuno Volleyball Club, Team Parents Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Tsukishima Kei Being an Asshole, Volleyball Dorks & Nerds, Volleyball Dorks in Love, amputee hinata shouyou, and hides it from the team, because its hard to write a volleyball fic, he does but people think he shouldnt, hinata has AK prosthesis, yes im going to draw for this fic too
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-01-21 02:22:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21292052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jellofello/pseuds/Jellofello
Summary: The AU where after seeing the Little Giant on that TV screen, Hinata's too distracted by volleyball even while pedaling away, getting hit by a car and losing his right leg.It's a story about him playing volleyball with a prosthetic while hiding it from everyone, including his own team, for the fear that they won't allow him to play when they find out he's disabled. Sure, they might offer to let him make a volleyball club for other disabled players too, but he realizes very early that he wants to play with THIS team, and he'd do anything to make sure he can stay on the court the longest and be the last one standing(All art is done by me, too! I try to do illustrations for my fics.)
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 132
Kudos: 1468





	1. Chapter 1

* * *

Izumi and Koji called out to Shouyou, yelling at him to hurry up or else they’d leave him behind. 

** **

“Just a minute! I want to see this!” He half heartedly responds as he stops in front of a shop window. There’s a crowd of people gathered around watching something. Slowing to a stop, he watches too. 

** **

It’s volleyball. 

** **

A team called Karasuno High School plays during nationals, the announcers are focused on a player with the number ten on his back. They move fast, but not so fast that he can’t track it. It was almost hypnotic, how easy it was to get lost in the game. It looks overwhelming in the best way possible. 

** **

They call number Ten a ‘little giant’, as he’s the shortest player on the court. He’s away from the net as someone tosses the ball high into the air. With a stomp of his foot into the ground, he takes off. He takes off, 

** **

And then he takes  _ flight.  _

** **

He’s flying! 

** **

A gust of wind blows through the street, pushing his hair back. Though, a silly part of him likes to think it was the Little Giant’s wings that's blowing him away right now. 

** **

“Shochan!” Izumi calls impatiently. Shouyou answers and pedals forward, deciding to look into volleyball when he gets the time. 

** **

He rides into the street, eager to meet his friends on the other side of the road. 

** **

The crowd by the shop gasps, and the audience at the match is heard screaming through the tv. Shouyou doesn’t know why, but he turns. It’s instinctual. He’s drawn in, only to be drawn out by the screams of his friends. 

** **

By time his eyes are back on the road before him, he’s blinded by the headlights of the car hitting him.

** **

* * *

** **

They called Shouyou a miracle. It’s the first thing he hears upon waking up. His eyes open, and everything’s far too bright. Seeing he’s up, a nurse shuts some of the lights off and uses the window as lighting. 

** **

“Shouyou!” Mom cries, grabbing his arm. He didn’t know she was there. Natsu’s there too, not crying, but it looks like she was before. 

** **

“Do you know who you are? What happened?” The nurses asks, calling a doctor in while she takes notes. 

** **

“I’m Shouyou Hinata, and I was distracted riding my bike and…” He thinks, mad at himself for realizing what happened. “I was hit by a car?” 

** **

“A truck!” Natsu angrily corrects. 

** **

“It was a pickup truck, she means.” Mom offers, gently patting Natsu on the back. 

** **

“Natsu, a truck is just a breed of car.” 

** **

The nurse chuckles, greeting the doctor when they come into the room. They talk but admittedly, Shouyou tunes it out. He tries to listen! It just so happens that he keeps drifting out of the conversation, zoning out entirely. 

** **

While he spends more time trying to focus than actually focusing, his leg starts to itch.  _ I don’t wanna sit up just to scratch it, I can just use my other foot.  _ He does such, confused when he’s still itchy. His right leg isn’t doing what he says. 

** **

He moves the blanket to see what’s up, freezing when the doctor and his mom say not to move it. 

** **

Shouyou does anyways, seeing there’s no foot to move at all. His right leg is…

** **

“We had to amputate it. It’s honestly a miracle that this was your biggest injury. That, and your concussion.”  _ So that’s why it’s so bright?  _ Shouyou feels sick, his stomach sinking and twisting into knots. 

** **

“Does this mean I can’t play volleyball?” He quietly asks, seeing every head in the room gawk at him. His mom speaks up first. 

** **

“Honey, you’ve never played volleyball a day in your life.” 

** **

“I know!” He sighs, “That’s why I got into the accident, though! I saw it on TV and was so, like,  _ in love  _ with it that I didn’t watch where I was going.” 

** **

Everyone’s quiet a moment, he wants to fill the silence. 

** **

“Most patients go into some form of shock when they lose a limb.” The nurse offers, “The doctor can explain how everything is going to be for you from here, you’re in good hands with them.” 

“Gee, it’s like I do my job.” The doctor playfully glares at the nurse, shooing her away so they can continue with what they were saying. “Anyways, Hinata, with time, I’m sure you can learn to play volleyball. So long as you’re willing to put in the effort.” 

** **

Of course he’s willing.

* * *

** **

Tobio walks down the hall, ready to just get on the court and play. It’s all he’s been thinking about all day. Then again, it’s all he thinks about, ever. Volleyball is just that amazing. 

** **

_ I’m hungry.  _ He should’ve eaten a bit more before hand. Tobio can tell when he’s in good shape. When he has enough energy, just enough food in his stomach, how his hands are feeling that day, he’s aware of it all. 

** **

He’s also aware of a team in green jerseys, all incredibly short, blocking the doorway. 

** **

Before he says anything, they jump away. Two of them grab onto a kid with orange hair, telling him to ‘be careful’, the kid looks annoyed at that. Then again, Tobio isn’t very good with guessing how people are feeling. 

** **

_ Why is that kid the only one here wearing pants?  _ It’s not practical. He’d just sweat more during the match and risk getting the floor wet enough to trip. 

** **

Whatever. 

** **

Tobio takes a granola bar out and eats it, thinking it’ll help more than hurt. It’s dry. He grabs his water bottle, noticing its emptier than he thought. 

** **

Down the hall, he can hear the familiar voices of the underclassmen on his team, but he doesn’t know anyone’s names. That orange kid is there again, holding his stomach and presumably cursing out the kids. 

** **

“Oi, second years.” He calls, getting their attention. “It’s time for official warm-ups.” 

** **

“Not that we’d need them. Just look at our opponents, shorty can’t even pick the right size pants.” One of them snickers to the others. 

** **

“As far as I know, this kid is going to be actually  _ playing  _ in this match. Can you all say the same? You ride with the reputation on your school, you haven’t even earned the right to look down on an opponent.” 

** **

They apologize to Tobio and run off. The kid stares at him.  _ He’s probably his team’s captain. _

** **

“Y-Yeah! I was going to tell them off too! You just uh, beat me to it. Yeah.” The kid speaks. 

** **

The boy cowers back when Tobio looks at him. 

** **

_ “ _ You shouldn’t talk either, you know. You’re not even physically ready. You’re not even dressed properly. Your pants are far too big, you should be in shorts.” For the first time seeing him, the kid seems to glare. Not at Tobio, but at the floor. He says something under his breath. “Hah?” 

** **

_ “ _ I  _ said  _ I know my pants are too big. I know I should be in shorts.” It sounds like it pains him to say.  _ _

** **

“Then why aren’t you?” Tobio narrows his eyes. 

** **

“Because then they would take me off the court. I finally have enough people to play. I want to stay on the court as long as I can. The first match, second, third. I have to win them all.” 

** **

It’s a feeling he knows well. 

** **

“The first, second, third, play-offs, nationals. I’m going to stay on the court longer than you. You’re not physically ready. What, are you making memories?” 

** **

“I know I’m not tall. I know I’m….” He trails, not finishing what else he was going to say, “But I  _ know  _ what I can and can’t do. I know what I should and shouldn’t do. I may be small, but I can fly.” The kid announces, walking up to Tobio and getting in his face.  _ Is he limping?  _ Just a bit. 

** **

Right…

** **

Tobio turns an walks away, ready to go warm up. He passes a kid on the same green team. 

** **

“Shochan! Are you crazy!” He asks once Tobio passes. “You should-” 

** **

“I don’t need to sit down, really. You don’t have to baby me.” He huffs, sounding slightly amused by his friend’s worry.  _ Why would they baby him?  _ Is it because he’s so short? 

** **

On the court, he stretches and does the warm-ups with the rest of his team. He can’t help but notice how all of the green team watches the kid with orange hair carefully, like he’d fall apart any minute. The kid, however, looks ecstatic to be on the court. Tobio knows that feeling well, too. 

** **

The kid isn’t doing a lot of the exercises. When he  _ does,  _ Tobio can see the limp is very obvious. Is he playing with an injury? 

** **

If he were on the same team as Tobio, he wouldn’t toss to him. He doesn’t toss to people who can’t score. Plain and simple. 

** **

When they line up and are allowed to their spots, Tobio can see he’s a middle blocker.  _ That short kid can’t really fly, right?  _

** **

The game starts, and Tobio keeps racking up points with his team. The other side’s receives are awful, everyone objectively is. 

** **

Their setter calls for Shochan, seeing the orange haired kid take a few steps back and running to the net. The setter gives him a toss and he jumps, pushing off his left leg more than he really should. For a split second, it seemed the setter hesitated to give him a toss. 

** **

In a blink, Shochan is in the air, far higher than Tobio thought he’d reach, His form is good, besides not bending one of his legs back enough. Tobio blocks the spike. 

** **

He lands and his team watches his reaction like a hawk. 

** **

There’s a wince and inhale.  _ He’s injured.  _

** **

Why is he still playing? Tobio understands, but seeing someone else act like this makes him a bit mad. He’s mad, but also likes that he still plays with his all. 

** **

The game goes on, and The other team's captain has tripped six times so far, but recovers fast enough to act.  _ He keeps messing up receives the most. He probably spends all his team practices hitting spikes instead of being a balanced player.  _

** **

Tobio keeps scolding his team for not being fast enough. Angrier with them that the obviously injured player is putting in more effort than they are. 

** **

His coach tells him to stop making speed the issue. To use the team the best he can without forcing them to match his toss.  _ If this kid could probably match my toss, why can’t they? They aren't trying!  _

** **

The other team gets a free ball, butchering it and sending it out of their bounds. The kid runs. 

** **

Tobio tells his team to not let their guard down, they roll their eyes. 

** **

The kid tries to dive and receive, not making it and rolling into a wall. His team runs over, helping him up despite him saying not to. 

** **

“Um.” A younger looking student starts, “I know you hate when people do this, but I  _ really  _ don’t want to see you get hurt. Why are you going this far?” 

** **

Shochan gets up properly, rubbing the back of his head.

** **

“I uh, I don’t know what you mean?” He starts, “Isn’t it obvious? We haven’t lost yet?” The gaze is empty and piercing. It gives Tobio chills and clearly scares the kid’s own team. He’s right, though. It’s not over. 

* * *

** **

It was a simple toss miss. There was no one on the left. Tobio saw the expression the setter made, showing no one would be there to spike his toss. 

** **

Until there was. 

** **

It only took a second for Shochan to be on the left. They should’ve marked  _ him.  _ He’s jumping much higher than Tobio thought he ever could, spiking the ball and allowing himself to hurl into the tables. His team rushes over, same with some of the adults. He simply looks up to see if he made it in. 

** **

He’s subtly holding onto his leg. 

** **

It’s out. 

** **

It’s out but Tobio still feels like he lost the point. This kid overwhelms him. His physical ability despite being in clear pain amazes him, as much as he hates to say it. There’s someone who could move fast enough to match his toss. Someone who sucks, but can clearly make an effort. Someone who didn’t once give up on the ball even when their teams did. 

** **

His friends help him up and he stands on his own. The match is over. 

** **

They stand in their place as their respective teams move back. His speed, his physical ability. It overwhelms Tobio.  _ He  _ overwhelms Tobio. 

** **

He grabs the net and leans down to his height. 

** **

“You.” He starts, “Where have you been the last three years?!” He borderline shouts. 

** **

The kid’s team yells at him, one is held back. 

** **

“YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT HE’S DONE THE LAST THREE YEARS-” 

** **

There’s a sniff. The kid looks up at him and Tobio feels a bit guilty. He’s clearly crying. 

** **

“Where have I been for the last three years? Mostly in a hospital, thanks.” 

** **

Tobio was a jerk, wasn’t he?

** **

* * *

** **

**** ****  
  


The other teams were allowed to stay and watch if they lost, like normal tournaments. Tobio played and won it all, but he couldn’t help but look for the kid they call Shochan. 

** **

He was nowhere to be seen. His teammates were looking upset and nervous, like they were all in on whatever secret was going on with him. Not that Tobio cared, it’s just human nature to be curious. 

** **

* * *

** **

Shouyou made it to the locker room with the help of Koji and Izumi. He sits down and asks them to get paper towels and such, knowing what he’d see. 

** **

He releases the suction on his leg and rolls off the sleeve. Shouyou could feel it the whole time. It’s an old prosthetic he uses for just for sports, and his normal one is for normal stuff only. Mom told him it’d last longer if he did things this way. 

** **

The bottom of his leg is bruised and aching, a consequence for not speaking up about it no longer fitting as well. He has blisters up the side of his thigh, yelling at him to just take a break from wearing it.  _ I’ll talk to Mom and get it refitted before I start at Karasuno.  _

** **

He takes ibuprofen and puts on his normal prosthetic, packing his sports-only leg into his bag. Shouyou  uses his forearm crutches for the rest of the day to give himself a bit of a break. 

** **

* * *

** **

Tobio’s team is leaving. He lingers behind, wanting to stay and play some more on the court.  _ I can just use our school’s court.  _ He’s being too impatient to play again. Behind him, he can hear kids almost arguing. 

** **

“Shochan, I’m sure we can find-” 

** **

“You don’t have to find a ramp for me!” Tobio keeps walking, despite wanting to turn and see what the issue is. After all, it’s none of his business. 

** **

“Stop being so stubborn, you’re clearly in pain.” The other friend adds, “At least let us carry your stuff.” 

** **

“No-” 

** **

“We’re not leaving until you pick one of the options.” 

** **

“Ugh!” There’s a moment of silence. 

** **

“Shochan, wait!” 

** **

“YOU!” Shochan yells, getting Tobio’s attention. 

** **

Tobio turns and meets the boy’s gaze. He’s on crutches, and is rapidly coming down the stairs and storming up to him.  _ He really is injured.  _

** **

“You may be the king that rules the court.”  _ Excuse me?  _ “But one day I’m going to beat you. I’m going to stay on the court the longest. I’m going to play volleyball the longest.” He’s crying, but says it with a confident expression. 

** **

Is Tobio this kid’s standard of a winner? It’s kind of weird, kind of creepy. 

** **

“Only the strongest can stay on the court.” Tobio starts, turning to face him fully. “You want to stay and play all the matches you can? If you want to be the last one standing? Become strong.” He finishes. Neither of them speak. After realizing he’s not going to get an answer, Tobio turns and catches up with his team, leaving the school. 

* * *

** **

It’s the first day of Shouyou ’s highschool career. It was hard to convince Mom to let him ride a bike to and fro, but she eased up when he proved he learned to ride a bike with the help of a knee he can easily alter to work with the pedals instead of fight them. 

** **

He gets through the school day, excited to go to the volleyball club.  _ Volleyball! They have a real team and it’s Karasuno, home of the Little Giant!  _

** **

In the busy halls, people try and stop him to sign up for their clubs instead, but he outmaneuvers them and makes it to the gym. With a semi graceful leap over the door’s threshold, he lands with a thud, seeing a familiarly  _ stupid  _ head of hair. 

****  
“YOU!” He shouts, interrupting the kid’s serve. He gawks at Shouyou and the volleyball hits him on the head.  _ The one person who could get me kicked out of this club is here?! How can I beat you if you’re on the same team as me? Go! Get out! _  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me, writing a fic that ISN'T BNHA???? HELL YEAH  
there's no set schedule for this fic btw
> 
> ALSO  
I have a character in my comic who has AK prosthesis too, so I've done a fair bit of looking into prosthetics and how they work and stuff like that! 
> 
> anyways, hi! follow me on schtuff!
> 
> Art insta: jellofello22  
twitter: jellofello2  
tumblr: jello-fello  
MY COMIC: https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/self-aware/list?title_no=330088


	2. Chapter 2

Tobio inhales when the volleyball smacks him on the head. He turns at the familiar voice screaming at him. 

It’s that kid. 

What was his name again?

“I met you last year.” Tobio points out, walking a bit closer. “I don’t know your name, though.” The kid makes a face at him before stomping up to him.  _ He’s still limping, but it’s not as bad as last time.  _

“My name is Shouyou Hinata!” He shouts, “You probably don’t remember me, I played the first match against-” 

“I remember you very well.” He corrects.  _ His speed, his agility and reflexes, his overall athletic ability. I was overwhelmed by him.  _ _ He wasn’t putting it all to good use. Or, his team simply wasn’t good enough to  _ let  _ him put it to good use.  _

“-You wanna fight?!” Hinata holds his hands up, stepping with one foot back, ready to throw down.

“You were lousy.” 

“...Don’t make fun of me!” His voice sounds a bit defeated. “Sure, we were massacred by you guys and all, but I swore to defeat you! How can I do that if you’re here!” 

“Uh,”

“Why didn’t you go to some powerhouse school?!” Tobio thinks over the question. 

“The strongest school I could’ve gone to rejected me.” He admits, looking away when Hinata gawks at him. 

“They what?” 

“They didn’t want me.” He repeats through his teeth. 

“Damn, and I thought  _ I  _ would be the unwanted one here. I win!”  _ This isn’t a contest, dumbass.  _ “They didn’t want the king of the court, huh?” 

“Don’t call me that.” Tobio seethes, seeing a look of guilt briefly cross Hinata’s face. 

“I’m-” 

“Ah, that setter’s on our team.” A voice is heard near the doors. Hinata turns and stands closer to Tobio, ready to see who it is. Three boys walk in, one of them no doubt being the captain. 

“HEY HEY HEY!” The one with a shaved head starts, sauntering towards them. “Who said you could-” The boy in the middle grabs him by the back of his jacket. 

“Tanaka, Daichi just told you not to intimidate them.” The one on the left reminds with a kind smile. 

“Fine.” 

“I’m Daichi, your captain. This is Suga and Tanaka.” Daichi introduces. “You’re Tobio Kageyama. You’re pretty tall for a first year.” 

“Hi.” Hinata greets from the side, not heard. 

“I’m 180cm.” He offers, knowing they’d ask for a height. 

“Oh, you’re cocky, then!” Tanaka tries to intimidate again, getting his side elbowed by Daichi. 

“HI!” Hinata tries again with a jump, succeeding. 

“Oh! Shorty!” Tanaka greets.  _ They know each other?  _

“Ah, you must be Hinata! This is interesting indeed.” 

“We saw your match last year.” Suga explains. 

“You sucked majorly, but you got some hops.” Tanaka bluntly explains.

“Thank you!” Hinata takes it as a compliment, bowing slightly. “I may be short, but I can fly! I’m going to be Karasuno’s next ace!” It doesn’t set well with Tobio. 

In fact, it pisses him off.  _ You can’t be ace if you suck so badly I don’t give you tosses.  _

“If you think you can be ace, I hope you’ve improved. Or did you waste another three years?” Tobio asks, letting his annoyance show. 

Hinata balls his hands up into a fist, looking genuinely hurt. 

“What did you just say?” He meets Tobio’s gaze. It’s not hatred, but it’s disgust. Wait a second.  _ He said he spent the last three years in a hospital…. _ Tobio’s an idiot. 

“Now, cool it, you two.” Suga interrupts. “Hinata, how's your leg? It was pretty obvious you were hurt.” 

“I can walk on it.” He answers vaguely. It’s clear that no one likes that answer. 

“I see.” Suga nods with a bit of a smile. 

“How is that an okay answer?!” Tanaka questions. 

“By the way he said it, that’s more than good enough for Hinata, I’m not going to push it.”  _ He talks like he knows exactly what he means by that.  _

“And  _ you.”  _ Hinata turns to Tobio with a glare. “Don’t talk like all I’ve done was a waste! I played with  _ more  _ than all my might. I shouldn’t have been able to play in the first place. I tried my best.” Hinata points at him. “I challenge you.” 

“Now, now, you can’t be enemies if you’re on the same team.” Daichi starts. “Volleyball is about teamwork-” 

“Challenge me to what?” Tobio questions with a tilt of his head. 

“Volleyball, what else?” 

“How do you play a one-on-one game of volleyball?!” 

They argue, not seeing the vice principal come in. 

“Serve! I’ll get them all!”  _ Will you now.  _ Tobio gets the ball and heads to the other side of the court. 

“Guys-” Daichi calls. 

Tobio does a jump serve, wanting to laugh at the look of shock on their faces.  _ I’ve learned a few things too, you know.  _ He aimed for the opposite side of the court Hinata’s on. By time he lands, the kid’s already there.  _ How?!  _ He misses the receive, but almost got it. 

He yells at Tobio to try again, saying this time he’ll get it. Repeating the same tactic, he sees Hinata dash to the other side of the court. It hits his arms, but promptly ricochets and hits the vice principal in the head, knocking off his toupee and giving Dachi a new look. 

It gets very, very silent. Everyone’s trying to keep from laughing. Tanaka is about to fail. 

“Daichi, a word?” Daichi merely nods as he and the vice principal step outside. 

After a few minutes, Daichi comes back inside. 

“He said he’d forget this happened, so long as we pretend we never saw anything.” Somehow, Tobio finds this almost funnier than what happened in the first place.

“You couldn’t receive any of my serves. How is that any different from last year? You suck!” Tobio huffs.

“You talk too much.” Hinata hisses. 

“ _ Hey. _ ” Daichi gets their attention, and it scares Tobio a bit. Daichi goes on to speak a bit about Karasuno’s history, but he pauses after mentioned when Karasuno competed in the spring nationals a few years back. There’s a sharp intake of air. “Hinata?” 

Tobio turns, seeing the kid faltering back and hitting the ground. 

“He’s having an anxiety attack.” Suga explains, hooking his arm around him and taking him outside.  _ What happened?  _ After a few minutes, Suga comes back in and makes sure to shut the door. 

“Is he alright? What happened?” 

“He wouldn’t tell me, but I have a good guess. Just… try not to mention too much about when Karasuno went to nationals. Not until I figure out what can trigger him.” 

“Trigger?” Tanaka questions. 

“He was kind of famous for something a while ago, but it’s not my place to talk about it. I recognized him during the match.”  _ What?  _

“I see. Well, in any case.” Daichi turns his attention back to Tobio, scaring him again. “I don’t expect you two to be buddy buddy, but you’re on the same side of the net. You’re no longer enemies. Until you two realize that and  _ get along,  _ you’re not wanted in this club.” Daichi grabs Tobio by the shoulders and quite literally throws him out the door, slamming it. 

* * *

Koushi recognized Hinata, and was worried something like this would happen. 

Once both of them were gone, he pulls aside Daichi. 

“What’s up?” Daichi asks. 

“It’s not my place to tell, but Hinata got into an accident a few years ago. It happened because he was watching that match and was too distracted to not see a car coming.” 

  
  
_ It was all over the news. ‘Middle schooler loses leg and decides he wants to learn volleyball all in the same day.’. It only buzzed around for a few weeks, but I was captivated and inspired by it.  _

“Yet he came to Karasuno?” Daichi wonders. 

“I think he loves Karasuno and he looks up to the Little Giant, but maybe sometimes he can be reminded of the bad aspects of what happened. Kageyama mentioning how bad he is and how he ‘wasted three years’ probably just put him on edge. I bet if you mentioned it to him while being in a good mood, he’d be fine.” 

“You’ve known him for a whole five minutes and you’ve already become his parent and psychoanalyzed him.” 

“Shut up,” Koushi chuckles, playfully punching his shoulder. “That just makes you the Dad, then.”    
  


“Probably.”

* * *

Shouyou sits out in the grass, thinking over what Suga said. 

_ “I know what happened, and I’m here to talk to if it ever gets too much or if you have a problem. I’m here, okay?”  _

It was beyond sweet, and while it majorly stressed Shouyou out to know that someone else here  _ knows,  _ he’s kind of relieved. 

He hears footsteps approaching, and a clearing of the throat when they stop. 

“Oi,” Kageyama starts. Shouyou looks up at him, scared of how pissed off he looks. “Basically, we’re kicked out the club until we can get along” 

“What?!” He shouts, on his feet and running to the door. “But I want to play! I have to!” 

“Calm down, idiot.” 

“I’ll  _ die  _ if I can’t be on that court right now!” He wails, jumping and firmly attaching himself to the window, watching them warm up. 

“What good is watching going to do?” Kageyama asks, sitting on the steps. “I’m going to challenge them to a match, if we win, we’re in, if we lose….. Uh, well I’m not thinking that far because I’m going to win.” 

“You really went from saying ‘we’ to ‘I’, huh?” 

“That’s because we’ll win as long as you stay out of my way.” 

“You’re joking.” Shouyou chuckles in disbelief. “I just, genuinely can’t tell if you’re being an ass on purpose!” 

“Hah?” 

“I  _ said _ -” The door to the club opens as they are  _ very much so within punching distance,  _ and Daichi stares. 

“And I thought I’d see some improvement. Tsk, tsk.” His expression is blank, his eyes are hollow.  _ He’s a demon. That’s the only way he can make that face. Put it away, Captain!  _ “You two can’t even pretend to get along? Are you being honest with yourselves?” 

“If I had to be honest…” Kageyama trails, “I’d serve, spike, block and receive all by myself if I could.” 

“Ouch.” Shouyou hisses with a glare. Daichi breaks his mask and bursts out into full laughter, wiping some tears before he settles back into his Mean Dad act.

“If you could, huh?” Daichi smiles creepily. A chill goes down Shouyou’s spine. “That means you’re at least somewhat aware that volleyball is a team sport. You can only touch the ball once before someone else has to. You can’t play without us, now, and that will include Hinata.” 

Kageyama looks rightfully upset by what Daichi explains. Daichi closes the door again, and Shouyou resumes his spot on the window, watching them spike.  _ It’s like they’re doing it on purpose.  _

After a while, Kageyama jumps to his feet with a yell, saying he can’t take it.

“What are you going to do?” Shouyou asks, hopping down with a bit of a stumble. 

“They’ll let me in. I’m good enough of a reason to get in.”

“I-, Idiot, you  _ seriously  _ can’t be seriously serious, right? Are you serious?” Shouyou asks with a tilt of his head. 

“I’m going to challenge them.” 

“How?” 

“A two on two match. We both want in. I can win for us, and you can be the second player on the court.” 

“You say that like I’d have no real role.” 

“Well, you help me not touch the ball twice in a row.” 

  
“Oh, my god,” Shouyou mumbles, “I’m on the same team as a maniac.” 

“Are you content just gazing through that window?” Kageyama asks. Shouyou stays quiet a moment. 

“That one match I played against you was my first official match, ever. It was the first time I got enough players to do anything. Even then, I was the only  _ real  _ player that really wanted to be there. It was like I was the only one on the court, sometimes. I asked my friends and some first-years. I begged them, actually.” 

“Where are you going with this?” There’s a look on Kageyama’s face that he can’t understand. 

“I was the only person in my schools boy’s volleyball club. I’d practice during lunch, in corners of the gym, in empty hallways. There was… something else that prevented me from playing. No one wanted me to play  _ anything.  _ I’ll play in the match with you, of course, but you asking me if I’m content to ‘gaze through windows’ doesn’t make me feel much different. It’s uh, all I’ve ever really done up until that one match with you.” 

For a very long time, Kageyama just stares. Then, he takes a deep breath. 

“ _ Dumbass,  _ if all you’ve ever done is look through stupid windows, then I’d think you’d want to be on the court even more!” He shouts, grabbing Shouyou by the hair and dragging him to the stairs to sit. 

“I do! I want to play! I was just saying-” 

“Then don’t talk?!” They bicker, “To be on the court, you have to be strong, we know this. So what are we going to do?” 

“Fix-” 

“Fix your horrible receives, at least. We just need-” 

“Um, excuse me.” A quiet voice startles them. They look up from their seats, seeing who looks like the club manager. “Can you please let me through?” 

They nod quickly, getting up and letting her pass. Tanaka says something about being turned on by her ignoring him, and Suga slams the door in their face. 

Before that, Suga’s eyes linger a bit on Shouyou.  _ He’s probably wondering if Kageyama is bullying me or something.  _

Later on into practice, when the sun is setting, they’ve discussed all they can put up with, ready to knock on the door. 

“One, two. CAPTAIN!” They call through the door, waiting until Daichi opens it. The two look at each other again. “One, two, Let us challenge you to a match! Us against the upperclassmen!” They shout in unison. Other teammates giggle about how they heard them count together. 

By the end of the chat, they learn they’ll be in a 3-on-3 match. If they lose, Kageyama will never play setter. Shouyou doesn’t see what the big deal is, but Kageyama looks truly disturbed by this possibility. 

As for Shouyou, he has nothing to lose. It should be a good thing. It is, but yet… he can’t help but feel a bit forgotten. 

“So even if we lose, we’re both going to be on the team,” He hums. “Even if you’re not a setter, you’ll be a regular soon enough.”  _ From what I saw in our match, he’s good at just about everything.  _ “In any case, don’t you think spikers are  _ way  _ cooler than setters?” 

There’s a whole three seconds before Kageyama snaps around and snatches him by collar of his shirt, pulling him off the ground and to eye level. 

“Don’t you get it?! I am a setter. That’s just what I am! It’s the control of the team, they’re the mastermind behind most major plays, they get the ball the most. It’s the coolest. Your favorite, the spiker? It’s nothing without the setter’s toss.” He goes on and keeps gushing about how much he adores playing setter, but all Shouyou can hear is ‘ _ my name is bakageyama and I’m a control freak’.  _ “What did you just say?” Kageyama seethes. 

“Did… Did I say that out loud?” 

“Dumbass.” Kageyama hisses, dropping him flat on his ass. “Dammit, why’d they have to make that the condition?!” He curses to himself. 

“I get you want to play setter, but you said it yourself: All you have to do is win. Right?” Shouyou asks again, seeing him blink a bit before nodding. 

“If we want to win, we’ll have to fix your shitty receive before the match on Saturday!” 

“We’re not allowed to use the gym, though.” He reminds, seeing the gears turning in Kageyama’s stupid head. 

“Caw! Caw!” What is very clearly Tanaka trying to signal them is heard through the open window. “Hey uh, what time is morning practice again?” He asks loudly and over the top. 

“7am, why?” Suga asks. 

“I forgot. I’ll be here at 7!”  _ Ah, I get it!  _ “Anyways, was the principal’s wig okay?” 

“Hey!” Daichi scolds, they can hear the stomping of feet before Tanaka squeals. 

Shouyou and Kageyama exchange looks. 

“5:00am.” Kageyama announces. 

“5:00am.” He confirms.  _ That means I have to get up early and  _ not  _ take my medication until later.  _ Shouyou would definitely forget something like that. 

They start walking home, then running, then sprinting, all in an effort to outrun the other. It’s a contest and Shouyou  _ isn’t  _ going to lose to some weenie like Kageyama. 

“Wait, I FORGOT MY BAG!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things ive learned: I love writing dumbasses
> 
> (also people in my server/people who read my other fics: DONT WORRY, IM STILL ON BREAK AND TAKING CARE OF MYSELF. I JUST HAD THIS WRITTEN ALREADY)
> 
> anyways, last night there was an update of my comic, self aware!!!  
https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/self-aware/list?title_no=330088
> 
> and make sure to follow me on schtuff if you wanna see my art/me being a dumbass  
art insta: jellofello22  
twitter: jellofello2  
tumblr: jello-fello  
tiktok: jellofello22
> 
> okay, now im gonna go eat the HECC out of this burger!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> basing Hinata's ADHD moreso on my own, just cuz its e a s y

Tobio and Hinata get there at the same time, racing to get to the clubroom first. By the time they get to the door, they’re out of breath. 

While Hinata insists it was a tie, Tobio obviously won. 

“Woah, don’t burn yourselves out before I put you to work, noobs!” Tanaka strolls up behind them, twirling the keys around his fingers. 

“Tanaka!” Hintata greets, getting a ruffle of the hair from him. Tobio nods in greeting, getting a smile. 

Once let into the clubroom, Tobio notices that Hinata has an extra bag, he keeps looking at it but never opens it. Tobio  _ also  _ notices that Hinata has a lot of scars. Tanaka sees them too, looking to Tobio in a manner of ‘are you seeing what I’m seeing’, but doesn’t say anything. 

With a sigh, Hinata doesn’t change his pants at all, already in proper gear from the waist down.  _ Why does he look annoyed.  _

They leave and start warming up, yet again seeing Hinata isn’t doing as much as Tobio and Tanaka are. He wants to yell at him to properly warm up and take it seriously, but he’s holding off on it.  _ It was the same way during our first match.  _ His teammates were even telling him not to do so much. Yet, if Hinata did any less, he wouldn’t be stretching at all. 

They start easy, having Hinata try to do some normal receives. That, or watching Tanaka do one and then try to take note of his posture and how he uses his body. Hinata seems to be intently focused sometimes, and then, not at all. It’s like he  _ can’t  _ focus. 

“Oi, what happened? I thought you wanted to learn this stuff?” Tobio asks. 

“I’m trying! It’s just hard to kinda, uh, what’s the word I want to use… Think? No, I can do that. It’s like, think  _ enough _ .” 

“You’re distracted.” He guesses. 

“No, I’m not distracted by anything really, I just can’t uh, bring myself to do_ The Thing_ I have to.” He hums, still practicing bumping the ball.  _ At least he’s doing something.  _

“...Right.” Tobio narrows his eyes, moving back to his spot and throwing the ball over the net for Hinata to try and dig.  _ He has trouble aiming which way he wants the ball to ricochet off his arms.  _ That, and his form is still terrible. He’s not getting low enough for some of them. 

_ Ah, but if his leg is injured, he’d probably be hesitant to bend the joint.  _ It’s like Oikawa with his bad knee. 

“Hinata, try only bending one knee more when you receive. Keep one leg straight and uses the ankle and hip.”  _ How do I explain it?  _ It’s hard to put it into words. “Make your body a triangle.” 

Even Tanaka pauses in his serves, blinking a bit before busting into laughter. 

“Make my body a  _ triangle. _ ” Hinata repeats with scrunched eyebrows. 

“You know what I mean!” He huffs, “If you’re worried about having to hurt yourself to bend then just try to find a way around it rather than half ass it.” 

Hinata nods, seeming to get it. 

Tobio spikes it, seeing Suga standing in the doorway, watching them play with a coffee in his hands.  _ I want to see if he can think fast and- _

There’s an echo as the ball pegs Hinata in the face. Hinata didn’t make a single effort to stop the ball from hitting him. Tobio saw his blank expression too late. 

Hinata’s face whips backwards and he hits the floor. 

Suga’s already running to see if he has a concussion, while Tanaka laughs nervously when he sees Suga’s here. 

Tobio crosses under the net, approaching them. 

“I don’t have a concussion. Or, I won’t get one. I’ve had them before.” Hinata reassures, pushing the hair from his forehead and feeling if it’s bruising. Tobio can see a long scar starting from his hairline, that spreads from far above his right eye down to the left eyebrow. His hair covered it before, and Tobio wonders if that’s why he grew it out that long in the first place. 

“Still, even if it’s not a concussion, you still could be hurt.” Suga explains, “C’mon.” He extends a hand and helps Hinata up. 

“Oh, since you’re here, do you mind if I go change my  _ pants? _ ” Hinata asks Suga with a weird tone.  _ Did the dumbass get hit hard enough to shit himself? I don’t get it.  _

“Your… Oh!” Suga understands whatever he’s asking. “You bring more than one pair of uh, pants, with you to school?” 

“Yeah. One pair for volleyball and one pair for… everything else.” 

Tobio gets a weird feeling that the conversation isn’t actually about pants, but he has no clue what it  _ could  _ be about. 

“Yes, of course you can go change.” Suga nods, seeing Hinata scurry out of the gym. 

“Suga! What are you doing here, man?” 

“You were very over the top with the way you asked about the gym and I figured this was what you had in mind.” He answers Tanaka, taking a sip of his coffee. “Don’t worry, I won’t say anything. I’m rooting for you guys, you know?” 

“Uh, aren’t you supposed to root for your boyfriend?” Tanaka asks. 

_ Boyfriend? Who?  _

“Daichi’s performance stays the same regardless of who I support and you know that.” He laughs sweetly. “Besides, one of the first years that’ll be on his team is a bit of a meanie, so I’d rather vote for the nice people.” Tobio wonders if dating the captain would affect how often he's put on the court during matches.

“I’m not-” Tobio’s objection is interrupted by a buzzing sound near their water bottles. 

“It’s Hinata’s phone.” Tanaka guesses. “Just let it ring.”

Except, it doesn’t stop ringing. 

“Uh, maybe see if it’s an alarm or something?” 

Tobio nods and picks it up when he draws near, eyes widening ever so slightly.  _ Fifteen messages from “Mom”, five missed calls.  _

As he’s about to speak, the phone rings again in his hand. Knowing he'll regret it, he picks up the call.  _ I’ll tell her he’s in the club room. _

“Hello?” He answers. 

“Shouyou, where’s Shouyou?!” The voice is panicked, transferring some of that nervous energy to Tobio in an instant. 

“He’s okay, he’s changing his pants, he just uh, left his phone.” He tries to reassure his mother, sure he’s failing.

“Is he hurt? In pain? Do I need to pick him up from school?”  _ What? Why would you?  _ It seems Tobio pauses just long enough for her to realize how confused he is. “Shouyou forgot his medication on the table this morning, he didn’t take any of it.” 

“How do you know he didn’t?” Tobio questions, wondering what medication he’d be on. 

At this point, Suga seems like he’d rather speak than Tobio. 

“He’s forgetful enough to need a sticker sheet for them. He puts a sticker when he’s taken all his pills in the morning, then another at night. There’s no sticker.” 

“Kageyama, you look uncomfortable.” Suga offers, extending a hand. “Hi Mrs. Hinata. There’s no need to panic, Hinata is alright.” There’s a pause, and Suga scrunches his eyes a bit. “Ah, yeah, I’m aware of his situation. I can check on him and make sure he goes home if that’s best.” 

_ Situation?  _

Tobio decides to check on Hinata. He’s a dumbass, that’s for sure, but the kid has to be okay if they’re going to fix his shitty recieves. Suga’s still talking on the phone when he slips out the room, making sure Tanaka knew he was leaving. 

Outside the door to the clubroom, Tobio wants to turn back. He’s not equipped to handle emotions. He can’t help anyone like Suga probably could. It’s only their second day and he’s gotten into more than he ever should of, all because of this redheaded brat. 

What a dumbass. 

He opens the door, seeing Hinata sitting on the bench with his head down. He’s hunched over, head in his hands. It seems he never changed his pants. 

Tobio stands there a minute in the silence, relieved he doesn’t hear crying. 

“Are you going to keep stalking me or are you going to say something?” Hinata asks, not looking up. 

“Your mom called.” 

Hinata sighs, rubbing at his face. 

“Did anyone answer, or do I have to?” It sounds like he doesn’t want to talk to his Mom. 

“I answered, and then gave it to Suga.” Tobio answers. Hinata hums and gets up, not moving much. “You forgot to take your medication.” 

“Yeah.” He laughs a bit, “I did.” 

“Are you….. Okay?” Tobio isn’t good at this. 

“Yeah it’s whatever. Mom kinda babies me. That’s why I was hoping someone else picked up if she called.” 

“What’s it for?” He shouldn’t be asking, it’s none of his business. 

“One’s a pain medication. The other two are for ADHD and Anxiety.” 

He definitely should have taken them. 

“You should-” 

“I’m not going home, Bakageyama!” He interrupts, “You said it yourself, ‘we have to fix those shitty receives of yours’!” He mocks and mimics Tobio. 

“We can’t fix your receives if you can’t focus well enough to do them, Hinata-Boke!” He yells back, “Is that why you wiped out?” 

“Probably. I was too focused on trying to focus to focus.” …..Hah? 

“Right…” 

“Sorry, I’m wasting practice. I mostly came back here to take a breather without making it obvious.” 

“You’re taking it easy today.” Tobio decides. “You may be a dumbass and I hate you, but I can’t play the match without you. Wait until then to die if you have to.” 

“Wow!” Hinata laughs, smiling a bit since talking. “I’m gonna serve the ball into the back of your head!” 

“You can’t, you have to actually have good aim for that.” Tobio retorts, genuinely relieved to see Hinata acting closer to the dumbass he was yesterday. 

He’s a boy with a lot of secrets, but he’s painfully easy to read. 

Suga comes into the room, checking up on Hinata and relaying what his Mom said. 

“Thank you.” Hinata thanks the both of them, looking sincere enough to creep out Tobio. 

“Whatever.” He huffs, “We have to finish practice.” 

For the rest of practice, Tobio can see the limp is a bit worse. How Hinata rubs his back when he’s not using his hands. How his gaze seems to wonder just a bit more than it would before. 

It stresses Tobio out, but not as stressed as Hinata might be now. 

* * *

In math class, Tobio and Hinata are stuck sitting next to each other, but now it gives him the time to ask. 

“Why  _ did  _ you forget it?” 

“Uh, we had an early practice and I’m not supposed to take it until like, right before leaving, so I thought I could take it with me and take it on time. I think I was so set on not forgetting that I  _ did  _ forget.” 

“That makes no sense.” 

“Yeah it does!” He huffs. 

“No it doesn’t.” They bicker a moment, settling when the teacher cuts them a look.  _ I can’t get detention, I need that time for practice.  _

Throughout class, Tobio notices small things that weren’t there yesterday when they had to do their homework outside. The way Hinata taps his feet a bit, or keeps moving around. The way he seems to hold his breath when he really shouldn’t be. Sure, anyone could do it for no reason, but the issue is that it’s clear Hinata’s trying to cut it out. 

His papers are still have blanks. While Tobio knows he’s a dumbass who probably would get a bad grade anyway, he knows Hinata would probably try and at least put  _ something.  _

Towards the end of class, Tobio looks over and sees the sheen of tears in Hinata’s eyes. Is it really that bad? Is it really that intense? It’s only been a day without Hinata taking anything and he’s already like this…. Tobio doesn’t really understand it, but he’d prefer it to not be like this at all. 

Five minutes before class, a voice speaks up. 

“Hinata, you may leave.” She answers. Tobio looks up and sees that Hinata was already packing his things, anticipating it. 

Once he leaves the class, the students murmur a bit. 

“Why does  _ he  _ get to leave early? That’s not fair.” One huffs. 

“Dummy, disabled kids get to leave class ahead of time so they won’t be late trying to get to the next class.” A girl fires back.  _ Disabled?  _

Tobio knows he has a bad leg or something, but that can’t be the right word, right? Oikawa has a bad knee but he’s not  _ disabled.  _

They’re probably just spreading rumors. It’s whatever. 

“He’s not disabled! He looks just fine!” Another student interjects. Tobio agrees!

“Um, just because someone  _ looks  _ fine doesn’t mean that they are. He could have a really bad back, or an autoimmune disease, or  _ anything  _ and we could never know.” A boy defends, looking like it’s a bit personal. “Just because it’s not visible to others doesn’t make it any less important or hard on them, you know.” 

Among the class there are a few whispers of “my bad” and “oh, I get it!”. 

Tobio gets the feeling Hinata wouldn’t be allowed to play volleyball if he was honest about what’s going on. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so both Hinata's ADHD and leg-stuff i'm basing on my own experiences because its just v easy for me to write In general  
WHILE I DO have both my legs, there's something wrong with my spine (which a lot of my readers already know, but there are new people so: ) and it 1) makes it feel like there are CONSTANTLY snakes moving IN MY S P I N E it also 2) affects the ability to use my legs fully sometimes 3) im always in a LOT of pain but because im young and look fine, people tend not to take me seriously. its super annoying, and hinata gets to deal with that too lmao  
I just deal with that bull and chronic pain  
so while I know it's not the same as not having a leg, it shares a LOT with being disabled in general (because it IS disablement, just a diff kind) 
> 
> ALL ART IS BY ME, YO! Follow my insta if you wanna see more art schtuff in general!  
Insta: jellofello22  
tumblr: Jello-fello  
twitter: jellofello2  
tiktok: jellofello22


	4. Chapter 4

At lunch, Shouyou sits by himself, quietly missing the presence that Izumi and Koji had by his side all the years before this. It’s such a simple thing he took for granted. Hell, even if he  _ had  _ friends in his classes yet, he couldn’t exactly go sit with them if they weren’t nearby already. 

The kids with disabilities are supposed to sit in areas closest to the exits in case of emergencies. While he’s sure no teachers care enough to bust him if he broke that rule, he’s still kind of scared to break it. 

It happened at his last school, where everyone knew what happened. Shouyou knows it’s only a matter of time before it starts happening here. Kids and teachers treat him like he’s a fragile little thing. They start censoring themselves around him. People stop saying stuff like “car accident” and “surgery” and “nationals”. 

He’d be mad at them, but he gets it. 

If he wasn’t the one on center stage, he’s sure he’d do the same things.  _ I guess I can’t be mad people just want me to be comfortable.  _ But dammit, it’s frustrating!

Ah, but it’s already started. 

Classmates see the way he  _ has  _ to get dismissed to his next class early. They see he has the elevator key and his handicap hall pass. They’re both wonderful things, but not so much if he really wants to hide this. 

He’s putting headphones in, but he sees movement out the corner of his eye. 

There’s a tray placed next to him. Then another, then another. It’s freaky until he finds the courage to look up. 

Karasuno really is amazing, isn’t it?

  
  
“Oi, you didn’t hear us calling you?” Tanaka asks, nudging his side. “We were calling you to sit with us but you didn’t hear!” 

“You were? I didn’t hear a thing!” 

“You probably weren’t paying attention. You looked like you were thinking about something.” Daichi offers. 

“Yeah. how he’s gonna kick your butt with his senpai during that match!” Tanaka says far too loudly, getting some eyes on their table. 

“Right.” Suga agrees, swatting Daichi’s hand when he tries to take a bread roll from his tray. “Oh, Asahi-” 

Suga waves to someone, and Shouyou turns to see who he’s calling. There’s a large looking scary man who’s walking with his tray. He meets their eyes before turning red and quickly walking away. 

“It’s fine, you can try again tomorrow.” Dachi offers with a pat on the back. Shouyou keeps watching the guy named Asashi. Seeing how he looks over a few more times before leaving the cafeteria with his tray. He’s nervous, Shouyou can see it clearly. It’s obvious he  _ wants  _ to sit with them, but he just… isn’t. 

Another tray is set next to Shouyou. He turns and sees stupid Kageyama sitting next to him. 

“What’re you doing here?” He asks.

“The team is sitting here, and I have nowhere else to be.” He says bluntly.  _ Bakageyama hasn’t made any friends either?  _ Well, it’s obvious he wouldn’t! He’s a meanie! That’s good enough of a reason for people to run when they see his grumpy face.

“So, are you two any more of a team?” Daichi asks with a knowing look.

“Of course they are!” Tanaka answers for them. 

“I’m going to win, that’s all that matters.” Kageyama responds, meeting Daichi’s gaze. 

“So that’s a solid no.” He mumbles, exchanging a tired look with Suga. 

“They’re sitting next to each other, isn’t that  _ some  _ progress?” Suga offers. 

“......Fine. You win.” 

They eat lunch relatively peacefully. Except for some moments where Shouyou and Kageyama argue over something. Or Tanaka tries to intimidate someone and gets scolded by Daichi. 

Even with Kageyama being super stupid, he realizes something. 

He may not have played with them much yet, but this is his team. He finally gets to be with a group of people who aren’t reluctant to actually play the sport! As much as Shouyou loves it, it scares him. 

He thought that if people found out about him and he were kicked off the team, he could just make his own team. That there should be enough people with disabilities at this school who also love volleyball! That’s… no longer the issue. 

The issue is: This is the team he wants. These are his teammates and while it’s literally only been a day, he doesn’t want to lose them. 

“-ou, you okay?” Daichi waves a hand a bit, getting his attention. “You spaced out and you kinda look upset. Are you alright?” 

“Uh,” He’s caught off guard. 

“If you’re not feeling up to it, maybe sit out your practice with Kageyama today-” 

“The idiot’s fine, he’s just thinking about what I told him about receives.” Kageyama cuts in, answering Daichi for him. 

_ What the hell just happened?  _

If the look on Shouyou’s face doesn’t give away his utter confusion, then it’s Tanaka’s. 

“Hinata’s been thinking about it all day.” Suga helps to cover. 

“Oh, well, any breakthroughs?” Daichi buys it. Honestly, Suga is the best thing to happen to Hinata. 

“I thought I had a few before, but that was before Kageyama told me to make my body a triangle.” He explains, grinning when Tanaka’s milk comes out his nose with his laughter. 

“Dumbass, you know what I meant!” Kageyama slaps the back of his neck, clearly embarrassed. 

“No, I didn’t!” He howls, trying not to meet the same fate as Tanaka. 

“I have to admit, I don’t know what that would mean, either.” Daichi scrunches his brow.

“It’s about the hips!” Kageyama tries and fails to recover. 

“They don’t lie, you know.” Suga mumbles under his breath, succeeding in getting milk to come out Shouyou’s nose too. 

Yeah, he’s decided, this is his team.

* * *

After they finished eating, Hinata and Suga left. Suga said he was helping Hinata study. 

Tobio got bored of his food after a while and decided to leave to get some banana milk to drink. It’s better than plain, and he can use some potassium too. 

“-Do you want me to toss to you during practice, then?” He hears Suga’s voice and peers out from the vending machine. “I can imagine you need all the practice you can get for being a spiker of all things.”  _ What’s that supposed to mean?  _

“That’s what everyone else said, too.” Hinata’s voice isn’t upset, but it’s not happy either. “That I should’ve done something like be a pinch server, or setter. They  _ really  _ wanted me to play setter if I was going to play volleyball at all.” Some people see the setter as the one who doesn’t have to move around as much. He can understand why people would say someone with a bad leg should play that position. Tobio thinks setter is more than wrong for Hinata. 

“I won’t toss to you today, but I will if you remember to take your medicine next time. I don’t want you to be stranded here because you’re in too much pain to bike home.” 

Huh? He rides a bike to and from school? That means he lives far enough to need to, most likely.  _ He’s trying to kill himself. Isn’t he?  _ What kind of idiot refuses to see how his choices can be hurting him more. 

It’s going to get him taken off the court one day. 

“I guess that’s fair.” 

“So, you said you didn’t have a volleyball club at your school?” Suga asks.  _ What? Of course he did. I played them last year-  _ Then again, none of them were even remotely good. Hinata included. Though, he seemed to be the one who actually knew what was happening all of the time. Like all the others were stand-ins who weren’t taught beforehand. 

“Yeah. No place to practice, no people to practice with. It was only ever me. I asked people to toss to me but no one ever wanted to. I think they were scared of hurting me somehow.” 

“Ah.” Suga hums. “That’s why you’re still so um,-”

“Bad?” 

“Yeah, that. That’s why after trying to play for a few years now, you haven’t really gotten anywhere?” 

“I can’t blame others for me not being good enough.” He sighs. Tobio watches the two of them carefully, sipping his banana milk in silence. “Everything’s been my fault, but other’s blame themselves for what happened. Same with my sucky playing. People blames themselves that I suck, because they refused to practice with me, but it’s my fault. I’m not putting in enough work.” 

“Oh, Hinata.” Suga’s tone drops. It’s clear he didn’t like the train of thought Hinata was going on. “Hey, why do you insist on getting in Kageyama’s face?” He changes the topic. “Why fight someone stronger than you?” 

  
  
“Everyone’s stronger than me.” Hinata firmly answers, not sounding like himself. “He just pisses me off a bit is all.”  _ What’d I do?!  _ Did Tobio do something? Say something? 

“What’d he do?”

  
  
“He’s taller than me and so much better than me! It’s stupid but… It’s really frustrating to go so long being able to barely do anything, and then seeing someone who’s called a genius waltz out and do the things he can do.” 

“You don’t think it’s fair.” Suga guesses. 

  
  
“That’s the thing, it is fair!” He corrects himself. “I just, I dunno- My team was beaten into the ground by him, and the last thing he says on the court was to ask me what I’ve been doing for the last three years.” At that, Suga tenses. So Tobio was right in thinking he really shouldn't have asked that. 

The conversation dips into a comfortable silence, followed by Suga telling Hinata to make his body a triangle, but using the right wording for it. _Move hips upward in the direction you want the ball to go. That's basically what I said!_

“Suga?” Hinata catches the ball, holding it a moment. It’s not something he’d be able to do in a match. 

  
  
It’s wrong, and not allowed on the court. 

“I just want to thank you for helping me so far. You’re very nice about stuff but you don’t baby me. I- It’s…  _ nice. _ ” He chuckles, “I know you have been already, but can you please keep this a secret from the team?” 

  
  
“I can, but can you tell me why?”  _ Keep what secret? There’s more?  _

“You know what would happen to me if they found out.” 

“I do, but can’t you-”

  
  
“It’s you guys. I want you guys to be my team.”  _ What?  _

The last thing Tobio fully understands is that whatever Hinata’s hiding would get him kicked off the team. 

* * *

By the end of the school day, Shouyou feels like shit. Will that keep him from practice? No. He’s practiced in far worse conditions before. 

Like those times when he wasn’t supposed to be putting full weight onto his leg yet, and he thought a good loophole would be to simply play and practice on one leg. It was a great idea, until it wasn’t. 

The result of this specific idea was the muscles in his thigh cramping from both jumping and straining too much, forcing him to stay in bed a few days after that. None of his doctors, nurses, or family was very happy to hear this. 

“Oi.” He looks up, getting off the elevator and looking across the hall. Kageyama leans against the wall, perfect view of the elevator door. Was he- “I was waiting for you.” He confirms, clearly walking slower than his normal pace to give Shouyou a break.  _ He knows I’m fast, so he probably thinks this is to help conserve my energy for our practice.  _

“Why’d you wait for me?” He asks. Izumi and Koji always waited, but this is different. Kageyama isn’t his friend. It’s still different. Izumi and Koji waited because they clearly felt bad for leaving Shouyou behind that day. As a result, they  _ always  _ waited for him. It was a responsibility they took, and it was a burden. As far as Shouyou knows, Kageyama is burdened by nothing. He stayed behind just because he wanted to. 

“There was a chance your dumbass would get lost.” He answers, making Shouyou take back every nice thought he’d had thus far. “Either that, or you’d get trampled because you’re so short.” 

“Oh yeah? Well maybe  _ I  _ should’ve waited for  _ you,  _ because you need a nice person with you to balance out your grumpy vibes!” He retorts. 

“Stop calling me grumpy.” He seethes, looking grumpier. 

“What would you prefer me to call you, Bakageyama?” He asks, weaving through the crowd of people blocking their turn around the corner. 

“I’d prefer you not to call me at all.” Is the answer he gets once their away from the crowd and headed outside. Shouyou stops in his steps.  _ Did…. Did Kageyama just have a good comeback to something?  _ He decides to just take the loss on that one. 

At the clubroom, Kageyama stops before the doorway. 

“Go get changed.” 

Shouyou can’t help but stare. 

“Oi, you hear me? I said go change.” 

  
  
“Are- Are you not going to change at the same time?” 

  
  
“No. This morning I could see that you’re not comfortable changing with us, so go change first.” To be honest, he has no idea what to say. Shouyou considers this might even be a trick. “Hey, Dumbass, stop looking at me like I just saved your life.” Kageyama looks away as he says it. 

“T-Thanks!” Shouyou squawks before going into the clubroom. He changes into his clothes for practice, and swaps out the legs he’s using. This one is much better for volleyball, but it’s not as good as a blade prosthetic or anything. Still, every little thing helps. 

As he’s getting the rest of the air out of his prosthetic, he hears knocking on the door. 

“I know I said you could change first, but holy shit I think I might have to start timing you. Hurry up so we can play!” Kageyama says, face probably on the door. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writing them being dumbasses is honestly so fun
> 
> HEY YOU! my comic updated since the last update of this!  
Self Aware: https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/self-aware/list?title_no=330088
> 
> No art this chapter but follow my insta if you wanna see art in general!!  
INsta: Jellofello22  
tumblr: Jello-fello  
twitter: Jellofello2  
tiktok: Jellofello22


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo, what's poppin

Tanaka can’t practice with the two, seeing as he’s actually allowed on the court. Shouyou follows Kageyama down to where Suga said is a good spot for practice. Honestly, it’s just a patch of plain grass near the fence. The soccer team isn’t using it, being the only reason why they are. 

After a few warm-up stretches, Kageyama gives him a long stare. 

“Are you-” 

  
  
“Don’t say it.” He interrupts. 

“How do you know what I was gonna say?” Kageyama huffs, throwing the ball at him. 

“Because your face screams it, and  _ yes  _ I’m fine for practice!” 

  
  
“Your shitty receives aren’t going to get better if you yourself are in a shitty state, you know.” 

  
  
“Trust me, I know.” They continue practicing and trying to teach Hinata various kinds of receives and bumps. His reflexes can keep up, now he just has to make his body do what it needs to in order to succeed. 

It’s not long before it’s dark. Time has passed and he and Kageyama didn’t notice at all. Not even when the sky faded from a cool blue into bright reds and yellows, finally into a dark navy. 

His face hits the ground as he dives, still not saving the ball.  _ Maybe it’d be a lot easier on actual flooring.  _ No, he shouldn’t blame the environment for his failures. He knows it’s him. 

“One more!” He shouts, tossing it back to Kageyama. Kageyama simply nods, saying it’s going to go long. 

As said, the ball soars like it’d be hit from the back of the court. His aim is amazing. Shouyou forces himself to run still, getting ready to try another overhand recieve.

Except… The ball is stopped by a hand that isn’t his. 

“Ha, so they  _ are  _ practicing outside!” A low voice chuckles. He looks up, seeing a literal  _ giant  _ holding the volleyball. He’s blonde and looks like a pain in the ass. 

He sees there’s another boy with him, still taller than him and covered in freckles.    
  


“You guys are the first-years that got kicked out the first day, huh?” Blondie asks, looking down from his glasses. 

“Give it back!” Shouyou whines, hopping to reach the ball. He doesn’t have time to waste energy on it, but he can’t  _ not  _ jump! The guy holds the ball higher in the air. He considers kicking his shin but distantly thinks the guy wouldn’t even budge at it. 

“Uh oh, this little boy’s starting to get fussy? Isn’t it past your bedtime, champ?” He teases Shouyou’s height, treating him like a baby and he  _ hates  _ it when people treat him like a baby. 

“Hey.” He seethes. 

For a moment, the three others stop, before they brush it off. 

“Height complex, got it.” The freckled boy notes.  _ It’s not about that.  _

“You two are the other players in our year?” Kageyama asks, sauntering up. “How tall are you?” He asks, getting the guy’s height from his friend.  _ Tsukishima is his name.  _

“Are you bragging for me, Yamaguchi?” He asks with a raised eyebrow. 

“Sorry, Tsukki.” The boy chuckles lightly. 

“You’re Tobio Kageyama, huh? You were pretty well known in middle school. What’s someone royal like you doing in Karasuno?” 

“Excuse me?” Kageyama asks with a tilt of his head. It worries Shouyou a bit. It sounds like Kageyama has just as little impulse control as he does and he’ll do something stupid if provoked enough. 

Shouyou decides to disrupt the flow of their conversation. 

“HEY!” He gets their attention. “We’re going to win on Saturday!” There’s a long pause before Tsukishima answers. 

“You look familiar..” He hums with a nod.  _ Uh…. what?  _ “ Do I know you from somewhere? I don’t think you’re a volleyball player that’s known.” Tsukishima furrows his brow.  _ Not him of all people! He’d blackmail me or something!  _

“I’m a nobody, remember?” He tries, pushing his annoyance. 

“I think I know you.” He hums, “Anyways, about the match.. I don’t care for who wins or loses. It’s a club, I’m not weak enough to be emotionally affected by how many times a ball lands in or out of a set of bounds. I can go easy on you guys if you really want me to.” 

“And I don’t care if you don’t care. I’m going to win whether or not you throw the match.” Kageyama snarls. 

“This must be the King talking with all that confidence.”  _ Oh no.  _

“Don’t call me that.” His body lowers as he says it, like he’s unconsciously getting ready for a fight. 

“I just wanted to see if it was true.” Tsukishima snickers. 

“If what’s true?” Shouyou asks.    
  


“That he goes feral if you call him King of The Court.”  _ This isn’t going to end well.  _

“What do you want from me?” Kageyama asks with clenched fists. 

“You see, I was there that day. Your maniac tossing was a sight for sure, but you were a bigger sight to watch when they-” The movement is swift. Kageyama lunges forward and grabs Tsukishima by his clothing, pulling him forward to glare. 

“Tsukki!” Yamaguchi exclaims. 

There’s a long moment where it seems Kageyama is considering hurting him for real. Shouyou doesn’t like it. 

“Let’s go.” Kageyama’s voice is defeated and unlike him, yet he lets go of Tsukishima, gets his bags, and leaves. 

Without question, he follows. 

* * *

“Oh, the King’s leaving so soon? I guess he doesn’t live up to the royal hype.” Tsukishima sneers, tossing the ball well over his head. There’s a blur of movement, and the ball never hits his hand. 

Hinata, the shorty, got the ball with ease.  _ He jumped higher than my head?!  _ This is a team of freaks, isn’t it?

“I’m sick of hearing King This and King That. I’m here too!” He whines, defensively holding the ball. 

“Yeah okay… Let’s not get so worked up here. It’s just a club, after all.” 

Hinata stares a moment. 

“Just a club?” He asks with a tilt of his head. 

“I mean it’s literally a club.” 

* * *

The King and Shorty actually did go home. Kei heard King say something about making sure Hinata doesn’t push himself too far. 

Kei knows he’s seen that kid before too. He can’t remember where or how he’d know someone as annoying looking as him. Usually when headaches come into his life, he tries to forget them immediately. 

So, what if he  _ wasn’t  _ a headache at the time he met the boy? It’s stupid and Kei should forget about it. 

“Hey Tsukki, you okay?” 

  
  
“People like that creep me out. They’re so intense about it, like their life depends on playing volleyball.”  _ I only rephrased what I meant because that Shrimp looked like he’d combust if I said it again, and I don’t have time or the emotional capacity to deal with a crying child.  _

His phone buzzes in his pocket. 

**Akiteru: ** **   
** **I’m ordering food to pick up on my way home from PT, want some?** **   
** **   
** **Kei: **

**I guess. When do you get out of PT?** **   
** **   
** **Akiteru: ** **   
** **Now. I’ll have it ready by time you're home. Bring Yamaguchi if you want. **

He pockets his phone, telling Yamaguchi he can come over for dinner. 

Kei’s fine with spending more time with his best friend, of course, but it also helps that it’s a reason to avoid interacting with his brother some more. 

* * *

  
  
  


Before the match, Kei was told by his mother to bring a lunch by the hospital for Akiteru. He’s mostly healed up since what happened, but still goes to Physical Therapy on a weekly basis. 

He’s only bringing food because it’s not that far from the school. 

In the main room, he searches for his brother among the patients, getting distracted by a familiar and painfully annoying voice. 

He turns and sees a boy with orange hair talking to a doctor in a low and serious voice. He’s doing PT, and he only has one leg. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi howdy hello, here's an update  
uhhhh tbh I have no idea what I want to say. I save my stories for Regen
> 
> so????  
I have a comic!!! and it's updated a few times since I last updated this fic!!!
> 
> Self Aware: https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/self-aware/list?title_no=330088
> 
> follow my art insta for more.... uh... art: Jellofello22  
twitter: jellofello2  
tumblr: jello-fello  
tiktok: jellofello22
> 
> im going to r e s t


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> short chapppp

It was in that moment Kei realized where he knew Hinata from. 

  
  
They had never met, not personally, but Kei has seen him before. 

  
  
_ The day of nationals, Akiteru offered to pick the team’s lunch up after it was forgotten. The manager was sick so he filled the role.  _ Kei remembers Akiteru’s offhanded comment about how if he wasn’t going to play anyways, he might as well help in any way that he can.    
  
Years ago, there was an accident. Akiteru would have been a bystander if he had been just a few yards away from where he stood. He was hit by a car swerving out of the way during the main accident. 

An orange-haired boy pedaled into the road without seeing the car coming. 

When Kei and his mother made it to the hospital, Kei passed the room where the boy was kept. His hair was matted down and part of his face was covered in gauze. There was an obvious gap in the sheets where there should have been a leg. 

Luckily, Akiteru only had bruising and a few fractures here and there, making Physical Therapy a habit. 

Kei bets he had a face of pure annoyance on display when Akiteru asked if it means he can still play volleyball. 

The doctor laughed and said “That’s what the kid wanted to know, too.” 

Kei really doesn’t like people like that. 

He decides to walk away before Shorty notices him and freaks out. 

* * *

Tobio wakes up in a cold sweat, pulled out of his nightmare by his alarm clock. 

He turns over to his side, waiting for some of the sweat to cool and dry before getting out of bed.  _ The same stupid dream.  _ Well… He knows the dream isn’t stupid. It’s really just a memory, after all. 

The repeating scene of tossing, only to turn and see there’s no one behind him. No one to spike his toss, no one to catch him when it all falls apart on the court. They called him a king, a cruel tyrant that barks orders that the lowly peasants couldn’t keep up with even if they wanted to. 

How was Tobio supposed to know he was asking for the impossible?

  
  
_ Again, stupid. They were telling me the whole time and I just didn’t want to listen.  _

He gets up and starts getting ready, doing stretches while brushing his teeth. 

He’s going to win today’s match. If he’s not a setter, then he’s not really  _ anything.  _

At the school, he sees a familiar mop of hair is already there.  _ He beat me. This doesn’t count.  _

“Kageyama!” Hinata hollers, two drinks in his hand. “I figured you’d get here super early!” 

“Not early enough.” He mumbles. “What do you have?” 

  
  
“My Mom was able to drive me instead of biking, since I had somewhere to be before this, so we stopped for Hot Chocolate. Here.” He hands Tobio a cup, making him realize just how cold his hands were. 

“You got me hot cocoa?” He questions, “What, is it poisoned? Laced with laxatives?” There’s a brief moment of shock on Hinata’s face before he huffs a laugh. “I’m serious.” 

“I know! That’s why it’s so funny!” He wipes a tear, “I don’t uh… I’ve never had teammates before, so I don’t know what lengths are normal to go through for them. I just thought getting my teammate a drink too would be nice.” Hinata looks away, realizing he’s embarrassed. 

“To be fair, even  _ with  _ teammates, I apparently don’t know what lengths to go to either.” He walks inside, turning to see if the boy follows. “Thanks.” 

“Should we wait for Tanaka? I feel like we should wait.” 

“He’d yell at us for tiring ourselves out before the actual match.” Tobio agrees, despite really wanting to play already. 

“I want to finish my cocoa.” Hinata hums, fiddling on his phone. 

“You don’t have your bag?” Tobio notices. 

“I’m already wearing clothes for the match. No need for the bag.” 

“What about those crutches?” 

“I… Wait.” Hinata’s eyes widen. “I knew I forgot something!” 

  
  
“Did you remember medication at the very least?” 

  
  
“Yeah! But! UGH!” He wails.

* * *

Shouyou’s excited for the match! The other players are all here and they’re warming up. Even that mean tall guy and his friend. Suga made sure he knows to stop if he needs to. 

Then again, it’s awful silly to think Shouyou can be kept from playing until the end. 

Nothing will change for him if he loses this match. Not for him but…. Stupid Kageyama will be upset and annoying. That, and why on earth would he ever be okay with losing?

  
  
He went to Physical Therapy before this, so he feels great! He got some better stretches in and warmed up. 

“Captain, I wonder which two I’ll ruin- I mean-  _ Block  _ first? Tanaka or the Kid?” Shouyou and Tanaka whip their heads around to gawk. “Maybe they’ll lose to their own king?” Shouyou glances over at Kageyama, seeing he’s refusing to look at Tsukishima. He’s looking away, but his anger is still apparent. 

“Tsukki, they can hear you!” Yamaguchi warns, getting Tsukishima to whisper something in response. 

“You’ve got issues, man.” Daichi hums.

They line up on the court when Daichi says to, and Shouyou can feel eyes on him. 

“I’m sorry, are you trying to tell me this Shorty is meant to be your middle blocker?” Tsukishima asks, looking over his glasses at him. 

“We only have three players, Tsukki.” Yamaguchi offers, being completely incorrect with his reasoning. 

The game starts with Tanaka spiking the ball into the ground, whipping his shirt off in celebration. 

“Hell yeah!” He shouts, being told to put his clothes back on. 

“Maybe you shouldn’t have tried to pick on him.” Daichi chuckles. 

For a few moments, it felt as though Kageyama didn’t want to send him any tosses. They’re only a few minutes into the match and it feels like he hasn’t played in months. 

“Hinata!” Kageyama calls for him, sending a toss his way. 

  
  
While he’s always known he could jump, Shouyou thinks he likes the look on people’s faces when they see how he can fly. 

  
  
Even with his leg, he’s been learning to get around it and jump just as high. 

  
  
The ball hitting the palm of his hand feels amazing. It makes him happy to spike the ball. 

Except, there’s a wall in his way. 

“You know,” The ball hits the ground, then he does. “I was surprised when I saw you jump the other day. More shocked now though, knowing what I know.” 

“Meaning?” Shouyou’s confused. 

“Say, since when can a pirate play volleyball?” 

  
  
“What-” 

“You know, both of you have your sea legs.” Shouyou’s eyes move to him in shock. 

To anyone else there, it seems like a stupid joke. To Shouyou, “sea leg” means “C-Leg”. The kind of prosthetic he has. 

Tsukishima knows. 

He sincerely can’t decide what to do. Keep his cool? He can’t. Ask? No way. How doesn’t Shouyou figure this-

“Relax, I really don’t care enough about it. I just saw the chance for a clever joke.” He mumbles from the other side of the net. 

While Tsukishima is very clearly a jackass, and a sarcastic jerk who knows when he’s right about something… He doesn’t seem like the kind of person to lie. In fact, he’s so blunt and honest it’s annoying. 

As much as Shouyou hates it, he has to trust that he’ll keep his mouth shut. They’ll talk about it after the match if he’s lucky. 

“Oi.” Kageyama smacks the side of his head, getting his attention. “What’s with that look for? We haven’t lost.”    
  


“I,” He pauses, not knowing what he could say, “You’re right.”    
  


“Of course I am, dumbass.” 

“Shut up, Bakagayama!” 

“Boys.” Suga calls, seeing them start to bicker. 

As the match continues, he gets to spike a few more times, but  _ all  _ of them are shut out by Tsukishima. As much as Shouyou hates it, as much as he wishes he could only blame the other team, he knows it’s him too. He’s just not good enough yet. 

_ That’s fine for now. I’m here to become good.  _

Tsukishima speaks up in an attempt to rile Kageyama up, finally getting Shouyou to question it. 

“What’s the King’s Toss?” He whines, hating that he’s feeling left out. 

“You don’t know why he’s called the King?” 

  
  
Now that he thinks about it, he only has guesses. 

“Because he’s so amazing that it intimidates most people, and a few look up to him like royalty?” 

“Wow, no.” Tsukishima laughs. “The nickname “King” was given to him by his own teammates. He’s an ego-centric king who oppresses his team like a tyrant. Honestly, I thought it was BS until seeing that match of his. He got so oppressive, they made their star player sit out the rest of the match.” 

  
  
“Why?” Shouyou asks. What kind of move is that? Couldn’t the coach just talk to him? 

  
  
“To put it simply: He was abandoned.” 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LISTEN!!!!!!!! I know it's been a monthish since the last update  
but a f e w things as to why
> 
> 1) I said this fic doesn't and wont have a set schedule. it's just for fun
> 
> 2) I have other fics I try to cycle through with updates
> 
> and 3) I HAVE MY C O M I C !!! THE LOML  
I'm so busy with my comic that I do fic chapters when I get everything finished early and actually have time for this stuff
> 
> so uh, here ya go !
> 
> MY COMIC: SELF AWARE  
https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/self-aware/list?title_no=330088
> 
> My art insta: Jellofello22  
tumblr: jello-fello  
twitter: Jellofello2


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> end of the match!

“Abandoned?” Hinata repeats, sending a look towards Tobio. His heart’s racing just thinking about what happened. He’s upset that it’s even upsetting him. The way Hinata repeats it makes him sounds like he doesn’t understand. 

“Yeah, they left him.” Tsukishima attempts to drive it home.

  
  
Even now Tobio can hear the chants of “Kita-Ichi” echoing in his mind. The cheers of people rooting for his team, mere moments before it fell apart.

“I don’t get it.” He hums, “Even if he’s a jerk I can’t imagine walking off the court.” 

“His tosses were so fast and out of control that no one could get even close to hitting them.” Tsukishima sighs, “Not being able to get them made people feel bad, hearing him yell about what they already knew felt worse.” 

“Well, not me.” Tobio finally looks up from the ground when Hinata says it. “I hit your tosses just fine, and I’d never abandon the court, or my setter.”

  
  
_ What? _

“Maybe you ought to.” Tsukishima mumbles, snapping Hinata out of whatever that was to glare at him. “I really don’t understand you.”

  
  
_ Understand Hinata? I don’t either but he sounds pissed. _

_  
_ _  
_In the back of his mind, Tobio thinks people like Hinata simply aren’t meant to be understood.

The game resumes, and for the smallest moment, Tobio hesitates on his sets.

  
  
He wonders who he’ll toss too, freezing when he hears that voice.

  
  
“Kageyama! I’m right here!” On the other side of the court is Hinata flying, already near the highest point of his jump. Without question, Kageyama sets it to him. 

It’s hit over, but too bad it’s out. 

“What was that for then?!” Kageyama asks. 

“The ball came to me, didn’t it?” _ ...What? _“Forget about what happened! I was there and you set to me! That’s all that matters right now!” 

“Uh-”

  
  
“I will go wherever you say, I will hit any toss gratefully. I will do my best. So toss to me!” Hinata demands.

“You guys can do quicks?!” Tanaka asks. 

“What’s that?” Hinata asks, the tilt of his head covering his eyes a bit with his bangs

  
  
“What you guys just did! A fast attack!” _ I’ve done them before, it’s how I got here. _

“I’ve only really spiked high tosses. But I’ll spike anything.”

  
  
“We’ve never practiced them, it’ll be impossible.” Tobio huffs, trying to snuff out that weird hope in Hinata’s eyes. _ Not to mention his leg injury. He wouldn’t be able to keep up with me. _

“Impossible?! You know that word?! You’re being weak and it’s creeping me out!” 

“Shut up.” Tobio mumbles, walking away from the conversation.

  
  
“Running away, huh?” Tsukishima laughs from the other side of the net.

  
  
“You shut up too!” Hinata stomps and glares, “I’ll spike it past you! Just wait!”

  
  
“There’s that dumb anger again.” Tsukishima sighs. Tobio can’t really tell but it feels… off. Even for a prick like Tsukishima. “Some people just aren’t meant for things. There are reasons stuff like this have criteria to be met. You just aren’t meant to be a spiker. You’re not built for it in every meaning of the word.”  
  
Tanaka moves to stand up to him, but Daichi holds him back. Tobio stands still. Even if he wanted to defend Hinata, what would he say? Tsukishima’s right.

“I know.” Hinata starts, looking up to meet the blocker’s eyes. “In middle school, I wasn’t allowed to play any sports. I was treated like a liability any time I tried to. Like I was too fragile to be useful. By time I could play, I kept getting blocked. I kept hurting myself over and over trying to get points. I need to be tall. I need to be… Not what I am. Then I saw for myself that I can win. I just have to keep trying. I’m going to stand in this court, with my body as is, and I’m going to stay as long as I can. I don’t care if I have to be dragged off the court. I’m not leaving.” 

It’s a declaration Tobio didn’t expect. One that resonated with him, but why? He’s not short. He’s not injured. He can pay attention just fine. So what is it? Wanting to stay on the court forever? Well, isn’t that what all players feel?

  
  
Something softens in Tsukishima’s gaze for a split second, and then it’s gone. 

  
“My point still stands. This isn’t a matter of psychology or believing in yourself. Physically, you don’t have what it takes.” He rubs the back of his neck, “You can’t make up for all you lack with emotions. I didn’t say you shouldn’t play at all but… Libero would be better suited for your height. Even then…”

  
  
“Breaking through the wall of the blockers is the setters job.” Tobio reminds, stepping up beside Hinata. He doesn’t like the way everyone stares at him. He’s not defending the runt, he’s just being factual.

  
  
When Hinata starts speaking, Tobio grabs a handful of his hair and drags him away. Tanaka follows suit, snapping out of whatever he was focused on.

  
  
“Listen.” Tobio sighs, leaning in close so the other team can’t hear. “Just go to wherever you don’t see blockers. Run and jump as fast as you can, and as high as you can. I’ll toss it to you.”

  
  
“That’s a quick!” Tanaka laughs, “You just said it’s impossible!”  
  
  


Yeah, well Tobio thinks someone with reflexes like that might make him try for the impossible.

  
  
Turns out, it isn’t so easy. It isn’t until Suga steps in tell Tobio his toss is killing Hinata’s speed that it makes him think. The first time they did a quick, Hinata had already near the peak of his jump, arm back to swing. 

  
“You!” Tobio points, angry he’s going to admit it. “You’re dumb as fuck, but I envy your reflexes and speed.” 

“An insult _ and _a compliment?” Tanaka chuckles. “Which one is it?” 

“It’s been wasted all these years and that infuriates me.” He sees the slight change in Hinata’s expression, the tightening of his fist, and he drops it. “You’re going to zip to wherever you don’t see blockers, and you’re going to jump as high as you can, and swing.”

  
  
“But the ball-”

  
  
“Forget about the ball! It’ll come to you! Just don’t watch it. You’re anticipation is what’s killing it too.”

  
  
“Fine!” They agree to it.

  
  
When they see it in action, the gym is yet again silenced. The runt seems to have that effect.

  
  
_ We did it. _

  
  
“WE DID IT!” Hinata shouts, looking at his hand. “The ball came to my hand! Kageyama did you see that! Hey!”

  
  
“He… Had his eyes closed.” Daichi mumbles with a look of disbelief.

  
  
“Hah?” Tsukishima seems to gawk too. It’s the same face he had when seeing Hinata jump for the first time.

  
  
“From the moment he jump, until the moment he hit it, his eyes were shut.”

  
  
“Hinata-Boke! Why were your eyes closed?!” Tobio shouts, even more shocked it worked. 

“I had to! Otherwise I would be looking at the ball and you said not to!” He whines. 

  
“Who just trusts someone 100% like that?!” _ What Spiker would trust me like that, knowing what I’ve done? _

  
  
“Well, you’re my setter! I have to!” 

  
It’s a feeling Tobio’s unsure of. He doesn’t know what to say at all, if he’s being honest. Even being dubbed a prodigy setter, being called the best in teams he’s played with, he thinks he’s gotten used to the same old compliments from people. From a teammate though? He can’t recall the last time he’d been praised.

  
  
They keep playing, and take a small timeout when Tobio accidentally pegs Hinata in the face with the ball. He hits the ground with the thud.

  
  
“Sorry.” Hinata mumbles, getting confused looks. They expect Tobio to say it, and Hinata knows that. “It was my fault. His toss was perfect, so it had to be me.” He explains as he rubs his face where it hit.

  
  
_ We’re losing. We haven’t been doing well at all but… I’m having fun. _

  
  
“Hey! The heck are you smiling for!?” Hinata wails, shaking a fist at him.

  
  
The second time the quick attack works, they both yell in unison. _ This means it’s not a fluke. We can do something with this. _

* * *

They won. Tobio can’t believe they actually won the match. While yes, he said they would with him alone, sometimes he just has to refuse any other possibility.

  
  
Tobio stands against a wall, trying to catch his breath. 

Hinata went out to get some colder water a few minutes ago, maybe that’ll be better for him too.

  
  
“Ow, ow, ow…” He hears Hinata sucking in a breath while he turns the corner, seeing the boy limping. He watches a moment, seeing the way Hinata pauses and holds onto his right thigh, trying to walk without the limp. “This is going to be so sore.” He sighs.

  
  
Tobio almost forgot that Hinata forces himself to play with an injury.

  
  
“Oi.” He calls, almost flinching at the way Hinata snaps around to meet his gaze. “Did you hurt yourself?”

  
  
“N-No! I just… It was just a bit much, I guess.” Hinata admits, looking down. 

  
Tobio recalls their first match, how he could see that Hinata played with a limp, that his every movement reeked of pain and tension. 

  
He just thought that his injury healed a bit since then, that it didn’t hurt as much, but now he gets it.

  
  
“You force yourself to play like you aren’t in pain?” He questions, getting closer. “Why?”

  
  
“If…” He trails, taking a seat on some nearby steps. “If we were in an official match, and they saw me limp, even just a little, I would be done for.”

  
  
“So you hide it until it’s over?”

  
  
“Yeah.” Why does Tobio hate that so much? Why does it infuriate him? His spikers have to be in the best shape they can, or else they don’t get tosses.

  
  
He thought that during the first match. That if Hinata were on his team, he’d never get a toss from Tobio.

  
  
Yet he did. He fooled everyone and put up an act just to stay on the court. Imagine what they could do if he could put up other acts and trick the other team. Still, there’s a problem.

  
  
“We’re on the same team, and I’m the one who sets for you. I need to know everything in order to win.” He pauses when panic briefly flashes in his eyes. “I mean your condition during the match. Remember how you forgot to take your medicine the other day and it ended up with you getting hit in the face?”

  
  
“Yeah?”

  
  
“That wouldn’t have happened if I knew beforehand. I would’ve added height to my toss and give you more time to act.”

  
  
“Huh.” Hinata hums. 

“Same with your leg. I know you don’t talk about it, but I need to know this shit before you end up limping like this. In nationals, we could go up to five sets. We only played three today and you’re like this. Get it?” Hinata nods at the question, eyes on the ground. “I’m not asking about what you hide from everyone, I don’t care to know. I just need to know how you’re feeling before we play and that should be enough for me to work with, alright?”

  
  
“Okay. That’s fair.” Hinata agrees.

  
  
“Are you going back inside any time soon?”

  
  
“I need to sit for a little while.” He admits. 

“I know I said I wouldn’t ask, but can I ask one question?” Tobio asks. 

“Depends?”

  
  
“Is your leg injury going to get better?”

  
  
He was worried of offending him with the question, after all he doesn’t really understand people. Rather than anger or sadness he expected, Hinata throws his head back and laughs.

  
  
It’s empty.  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo yo yo long time no see!!!
> 
> I still stand by what I said, no set schedule for this fic. I wanted to get this first match out of the way so we can focus on some stuff that's like, actually New in this story compared to canon ya feel?
> 
> anyways, I don't update this as often because 1) this isn't the fandom I usually write for 2) I have my own comic I do and 3) im ALSO doing a story for the webtoon contest
> 
> so my b, but you gotta understand my priorities
> 
> anyways, new video on my youtube where I do a bob ross tutorial but I panic and use spraypaint:  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAovA6qXvVs&t=3s
> 
> my main comic, Self Aware:  
https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/self-aware/list?title_no=330088
> 
> ****** THIS IS FOR THE WEBTOON CONTEST!!! Please read this if you wanna, i'm workin V hard on it and I have just Two chapters left on it************  
Subject 402: https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/subject-402/list?title_no=426462
> 
> and !!!
> 
> I have an art Instagram!! Follow me for art!!!  
@jellofello22
> 
> see ya!!


	8. Chapter 8

It’s empty. 

  
  
Tobio can’t pinpoint any single emotion of Hinata’s face. He doesn’t understand what’s so funny. 

  
  
“Kageyama, I think it’s best that you don’t have hope.” He starts with a small hum, “I’m not going to heal any more, I’m just going to get better at coping and stuff.” 

  
  
“What does that mean?” Tobio asks, leaning forward ever so slightly. 

  
  
“It means…. No. My leg injury is never going to get better. I’ll just learn to be better.”  _ I still don’t get it. I don’t understand you.  _

  
  
“Does it bother you?” 

  
  
“All the time. But at other times, I’ve already accepted it. I meant what I said. I’ll learn to play with my body as is, and when people learn about my injury, it’s going to mean something to people. I’m okay with that.” 

  
  
It’s going to mean something someday, but what about today? What about now? 

  
  
“Did you grow your hair out to cover that scar?” Tobio asks when Hinata wipes more sweat off his forehead. 

  
  
“Yeah. Less people ask about it if they can’t see it.”  _ Does that go for the rest of your scars?  _ Tobio doesn’t speak a moment. “You’ve seen me change clothes before right? Before you guys started letting me go first?” 

  
  
Tobio thinks for a moment. Yeah, he remembers. The way Hinata was covered in scars, clearly hurt far beyond what anyone here knows. Tobio remembers the way he and Tanaka exchanged concerned looks. 

  
  
Tobio just nods. 

  
  
“Mm, well, it’s all from the same thing.” 

  
  
“What do you mean?” 

  
  
“All of these scars and injuries are from one specific event in my life.” Surprisingly, it’s Hinata who stands up first. He walks a bit, limping. Then he takes a deep breath and his limp is gone. It’s concerning how good he is at hiding it. 

  
“I thought you needed to sit?” Tobio questions, getting up and following. 

  
  
“I should be, yeah, but I have to talk to someone.” His face shows no pain. A lot of practice went into this act. Imagine what he’d be like if he put practice into acting other things out on the court. 

  
  
“Oh.” He hums. 

  
  
They return to the gym, finishing their time today. By time they head out, they’ve been properly accepted onto the team, given jackets, and told they have a practice match against Seijoh on the condition that Tobio is setter. Everyone’s eyes went to Suga when that was said, and he said he wanted Tobio to play to assess how well their quick attack works in an official match against a top four school. It’s nice of him. 

  
  
Suga really is just a nice guy, huh? 

  
  
Tobio says that he’s going to find Suga and talk to him about it, just as Hinata says he has to go talk to someone too. 

* * *

Shouyou finds Tsukishima waiting against the fence at the school entrance. He steps forward when he sees Shouyou. 

  
  
“I was looking for you!” Shouyou calls. 

  
  
“I figured you’d want to, why do you think I’m standing here. Without Yamaguchi.” 

  
  
“Oh.” He has a point, Shouyou supposes. 

  
  
“Let’s get this over with.” Tsukishima sighs, walking away the moment Shouyou catches up. They walk to a nearby park, sitting at a picnic table. “So to start, yes I know you only have one leg.” 

  
  
It’s blunt. 

  
  
“Why do you know? How do you know?!” Shouyou asks, leaning forward in his seat. 

  
  
“I was at the hospital this morning and saw you at PT. I walked away before you noticed.”  _ Oh my god. How did I not notice a freaking giant like him there!  _ “I was bringing my brother lunch and saw you.” 

  
  
“Your brother’s in the hospital?” Shouyou questions, getting a shrug in response. 

  
  
“He was also in PT.” 

  
  
“Huh.” Shouyou wants to ask why but he knows better. 

  
  
“You don’t know him, but I think he knows you. The same way I realized I knew you.” Tsukishima starts explaining, looking down rather than at Shouyou. “My brother was hurt in the same accident as you.” 

  
  
_ What?  _   


* * *

“My brother was hurt in the same accident as you.” Kei says, somehow regretting it when he looks up to see the look of sad terror on the Shrimp’s face. 

  
  
“I’m sorry.” Is what Hinata manages after a while. He’s not crying but Kei is weirdly worried that he’s not too far from it.  _ Oh god I don’t know what to do.  _

  
  
“What are you sorry for?” He questions. 

  
  
“It’s my fault.” 

  
  
_ Huh?  _   


  
“What was your fault.” 

  
  
“Your brother being hurt was my fault. I’m sorry. It’s-” 

  
  
“Define the word ‘accident’.” Kei interrupts. 

  
“What?” Hinata looks startled out of whatever he was thinking. 

  
  
“‘Accident:  an unfortunate incident that happens unexpectedly and unintentionally’, Do you understand what that means?” 

  
  


“I’m not sure.” Hinata answers, looking down. Kei sighs and rubs the back of his neck for a moment.  _ This isn’t how I thought this would go.  _

  
  
“It was unintentional. You were hurt too, anyways. The worst, actually. You may have been the one to pedal into the road but unless you purposely caused that accident, I don’t see the point in someone holding it against you.” Kei wonders if he’ll have to dumb down what he’s saying, especially with the look Hinata’s giving him. 

  
  
“Oh.” 

  
  
“My brother has never said anything bad about you. He mentions you from time to time, wondering how you are and what happened to you. He’s…. Annoying like that.” Kei would never admit he was going to call Akiteru ‘nice like that’. 

  
  
“You said you didn’t really care about it.” Hinata mumbles, finally looking up. Kei doesn’t like that expression.  _ He looks like a hurt puppy. Cut it out.  _

  
  
“To be specific, I said I don’t care  _ enough  _ about it. Meaning I don’t care enough to rat you out.” 

  
  
“Why not?” 

  
  
“Why would I? The biggest reason I could think of to tell someone about you is because you risk hurting yourself in matches. And, well, I don’t care if you get hurt. I have nothing to gain from doing something like that.”  _ There’s no logical reason for me to speak up. For someone like Kageyama, he might say something. I don’t think he knows, though.  _

  
  
“If I get benched, you’ll probably play in more matches.” Hinata points out, falsely thinking he has a good point. 

  
  
“Why on earth would I want that.” Kei chuckles, “I’m not a monster like the rest of you freaks, you know. I have physical limits, and unlike you I don’t intend on ignoring or pushing past them.” 

  
  
“For someone on the volleyball team, you don’t seem to like volleyball very much.” Hinata points out. 

  
  
Kei shrugs and huffs out a breath. 

  
  
“It’s a club.” 

  
  
“But it’s volleyball!” 

  
  
“A volleyball  _ club. _ ” Kei grabs his bag and gets up, ready to leave. 

  
  
“Hey.” The voice is low. Kei doesn’t turn yet. 

  
  
“Mhm?” He hums. 

  
  
“I know you said you don’t care to tell someone but…” Kei turns and feels his blood run cold for the smallest moment. “Promise me you won’t tell anyone?”  _ What the hell is with that look?  _ That gaze is piercing and the most focused he’s ever seen Hinata. It’s almost scary. It’d probably be scarier if the kid weren’t the size of a toddler. 

  
  
“I’ll promise if you make your face stop doing that.” He mumbles. 

  
  
“Doing what?” 

  
  
“Nothing.” 

  
  
“Promise.” Hinata repeats. 

  
  
“Fine….. I promise.” Call it dramatic but Kei thinks he might lose his lunch with how this conversation is going.  _ He better not think I care about him. That’s disgusting.  _ “If you want to catch up with the team, they went down by the convenience store, I think.” 

  
  
Hinata hums and tilts his head a bit. 

  
  
“Hmm? Do you have somewhere to be?” He asks, still standing and collecting his things. Kei thinks over his answer. 

  
“Yeah. I’m meeting Yamaguchi for dinner.”  _ Not that it’s anyone’s business, but I’d rather him know I have plans than him thinking I’m here to be friendly.  _

  
  
“Oh! You two are really good friends, huh!”  _ ….I’m not going to tell him.  _

This is the very moment Kei decides he wants to see how long it takes someone on the team to realize he and Yamaguchi are dating, in addition to being best friends. Hell, he won’t even mention it to Yamaguchi, in case he acts differently. 

  
  
Kei feels like it’ll take far longer than it should for people to notice.

* * *

A few days pass and Shouyou sits in the gym with his teammates, waiting to find out who’ll be on the court in their match against Seijoh. 

  
  
Daichi flips over the board in his hand and Shouyou’s surprised to see he’s on there at all, let alone as a middle blocker. 

  
  
“We want to have Kageyama and Hinata as a Set to see how well they work in a match, and Tsukishima is the tallest.” Daichi explains. Shouyou and Kageyama exchange a look when they’re called a set.

  
  
Tanaka questions Shouyou being a middle blocker. Takeda asks questions about positions and how they work as a whole during a match.

  
  
“You can be a supreme decoy.” Kageyama announces with a suspicious smile. 

  
  
“The ultimate decoy!...?” It sounded cooler before he had time to process it. “Something about this is sad.” He huffs. 

  
  
“You’ll have everyone’s eyes on you and make them play whatever game you want, only for the toss to go to someone else. You’ll still score points, but you’ll break their certainty. You’ll have idiots like Tsukishima suffering trying to figure you out.” Kageyama says, making it seem cool again. “It’ll feel good, won’t it?” 

  
  
“Woah!” Shouyou yells, wanting to play immediately. 

  
  
“Did. Did you call Tsukki an idiot? You’re not callin’ him an idiot are you?!” Yamaguchi asks with what could almost be a glare. 

  
  
“Yamaguchi shut up.” Tsukishima says, lowering his head a bit. 

  
  
“Sorry Tsukki.” Yamaguchi responds with a small smile. 

  
  
“However-” Kageyama resumes the conversation. “-If you don’t do it right. The other attacks will fall through.”  _ What?! _

  
“Hey, hey! Let’s not make it seem like the world’s on his shoulders huh? He doesn’t need that sorta pressure on him.” Daichi says to Kageyama.

  
  
The conversation continues, but all Shouyou really hears is that everything’s on him. If he fails, they fail. He can’t make any mistakes and how doesn’t know how not to do that. He was so excited for this match but now he’s scared. He can be, and is both excited and scared. Just one more than the other now.    


* * *

  
  
Suga leads Shouyou and Kageyama up to the club room, saying that first-years are allowed to use it too. 

  
  
It’s small but Shouyou thinks it looks cozy. A few people are there already. 

  
  
“Woah-ho! This was where the little giant was!” He realizes.  _ That’s so cool!  _

  
  
“Hey Hinata!” Tanaka waves, “Tomorrow’s your big debut huh?” Shouyou freezes, feeling that fear creeping up again. Or, is that just his breakfast? 

  
  
“Sir, I will die.” Shouyou blurts out, covering his mouth when he realizes he said that.  _ SIR?  _

  
  
Tanaka bursts into laughter, patting him on the back once he settles down. It’s then that Tanaka and the other’s start dying again when they point out Shouyou has pants on as a jacket.

  
“ _ My life is in shambles. _ ” Shouyou whines, walking out of the room all together.  _ It’s fine, I just uh. Need a walk. A walk. Yeah I can do that… Most days?  _

_   
_ _   
_ _ I have to calm down but I’m so nervous! I can get replaced in an instant by so many other people but I don’t want to! And if I don’t want to, then why am I so nervous about playing-  _ Someone hits him as he walks by. 

  
  
“Sorry, sorry. You’re so short I didn’t see you down there without a magnifying glass.” Tsukishima explains. Shouyou’s pretty sure he responds. 

* * *

Koushi is worried. More than usual, that is. It’s been a few days and he sees the way the team has been putting pressure on Hinata, and that Hinata is very much so not taking it well. Kageyama has no idea that he’s putting pressure on him, lacking more self awareness than he thought. Tanaka doesn’t seem to realize it either. 

  
  
He overheard Hinata saying he didn’t sleep last night, and he just lost his breakfast in Tanaka’s lap on the ride to Seijoh. 

  
  
Hinata gets sick when Tanaka reminds him of the match and runs off to the bathroom. Koushi decides to go after him after explaining to Kageyama that no, beating the kid up is not going to instill confidence or courage in him. 

  
  
Koushi walks into the bathroom to find Hinata hunched over the sink, the water running. 

  
  
“How are you feeling?” He asks quietly, trying not to startle him. 

  
  
“I don’t know.” 

  
  
“Well. How aren’t you feeling then?” 

  
  
“.......Confident?” Hinata mumbles, glancing over at him. He looks horrible, to be honest. 

  
  
“I’m going to say something, but you have to listen to me before freaking out okay?” He pauses and waits for the nod. “Good, good. So Hinata, this is your first match.” Hinata cringes the moment Koushi says it. “ _ But,  _ do you know what that also means?” 

  
  
“No?” 

  
  
“That this is your first match playing with us as a team. They may be saying that it rests on you, but to be honest, it really, really doesn’t. You are one person of six on the court. You have your roles to play but so does everyone else. Try to remember that even if you’re told the world rests on your shoulders, that it’s also on the shoulders of five other people. That’s what a team is.” 

  
  
Hinata is standing up straighter, listening to him.  _ Good.  _

  
  
“If you need breaks, you can ask for them. If you need help, you can ask. If being told that everything’s on you makes you uncomfortable, you can ask them not to say it like that. Or, I can ask for you if you want me to. What I’m saying is: We have your back, and we’re here for you.” 

  
  
“...Thank you Suga.” Hinata answers, voice a bit wobbly. 

  
  
“Of course. Did you take your medication today? I know you haven’t slept so you might be a bit more forgetful?” 

  
  
“I remembered, yeah.” 

  
  
“And you’re all set?” Koushi nods to his leg. 

  
  
“Yeah. I’m only using the sports one today. I have crutches in my bag just in case, for after the match, though.” 

  
  
“Just making sure. Let me know if you think I’m getting too… what’s the word… Momlike?” Koushi doesn’t want to be overbearing, but he gets worried. 

  
  
“I like you.” Hinata hums. 

  
  
“I’m not quite sure if that’s an answer to my request that I get, to be real with you.” Koushi’s confused. 

  
  
“I like you, meaning you’re not crossing any lines. You don’t baby me.” 

  
  
“Is that a thing people do?” 

  
  
“Yeah, it sucks.” Hinata says with a furrowed brow. “They think I’m some baby bird with a broken wing and that I can’t do stuff on my own. I like being helped, but when I need it. I don’t know. I just don’t like when my autotypy is taken away from me.” Koushi decides not to tell him the word he wants is autonomy, not autotypy. 

  
  
“That does sound annoying.” Koushi hums, handing Hinata a granola bar from his pocket. 

  
  
“Mhm.. And, with my ADHD, I get even more of that stuff. They think because I can have trouble with stuff that I’m stupid or that I’m like a baby who has to be watched.” 

  
  
“I’m sorry people do that to you, that sounds awful to put up with.” 

  
  
“You don’t do that, though. You help when you can but you don’t do it in a way that feels like I’m useless unless I get your help, you know?” 

  
  
“You mean I treat you like a person.” 

  
  
“....Yeah. You do.” Another decision Koushi makes is that he would murder for Hinata.    


* * *

It’s time to get lined up to start the match and Shouyou is considering faking his death and moving to the mountains. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyyyy!!!! Anyways I finished my entry for the webtoon contest a little more than a week ago. give it a read if you want!! Though,, be warned it's not exactly a Happy story-
> 
> "Subject 402": https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/subject-402/list?title_no=426462
> 
> My art Instagram: Jellofello22  
tumblr: jello-fello
> 
> also I don't read fics for this fandom, but I kinda want to. Any recs of stuff you guys like??


	9. Chapter 9

It’s time to get lined up to start the match and Shouyou is considering faking his death and moving to the mountains. 

He keeps messing up. It’s almost the end of the first set and he  _ keeps messing up.  _ If everything he does is a mistake does that make him the mistake?! Oh god is he spiraling? Shouyou thinks that’s what this is. 

Anything that can’t be used to win is discarded… When is Kageyama going to throw Shouyou away?

He doesn’t want to find out but he can’t stop messing up and he’s scared and- The whistle is blown, signaling he has very little time left to serve the ball. 

Shouyou’s startled into tossing it up into the air and smacking it, and he sees his cruel fate unravelling before him as the ball smacks the back of Kageyama’s head. He stills, terrified.

Kageyama slowly stands up straight, before starting to turn to glare. Another whistle is blown. 

_ Oh….I lost us the set…. _

“Oh my GOD he honed in on your DOME!” Tanaka blurts out, laughing. 

“How’s that headshot?” Tsukishima joins in, making fun of Kageyama. 

Kageyama turns, walking towards Shouyou.  _ No, no no no no- _ He scrambles back, terrified and unsure of what’s going to happen. 

Shouyou trips and hits the floor, still trying to back away from his angry teammate. Kageyama stops, standing inches away from where Shouyou sits on the ground before he stoops down and drags Shouyou to his feet via his collar. 

“Tell me.” Kageyama’s voice is low and he speaks slowly, “Why are you so nervous? Why are you so scared? It’s making you sloppy.” 

  
  
“I-” 

  
  
“Can you think of anything scarier than spiking the ball into the back of my head? Has anything terrified you more than you are right now?” 

  
  
“My head. Is Empty.” Shouyou Manages, unsure where to look. Kageyama is painfully close to him and Shouyou doesn’t think Bakageyama realizes something. “No thoughts.” 

“Then.” He abruptly drops Shouyou down, before turning on one foot and pointing to the other team. “GET BACK TO NORMAL, MORON!” 

Before Shouyou can think over his words, his setter is already walking back to his position. 

“Wait, so I’m safe?” He asks, confused as to why he hasn’t been thrown away yet. 

“The hell’re you talking about?” Kageyama asks, not bothering to do more than glance over his shoulder.  _ Did it not cross his mind to get rid of me yet?  _ He can’t lose this chance. 

He mentally screams, wondering why he was so nervous to begin with. How can he be intimidated by someone who looks like a turnip?!

He looks at the ground after the whistle is called, not knowing the approaching footsteps are towards him until he looks up. 

“Hinata why’re you playing like you think you gotta play as good as us?”  _ Huh?  _ He looks up and meets Tanaka’s terrifying face. Why’s he glaring?! “Why are you trying to pretend you’ve got the experience when you clearly fuckin’ don’t?” 

“B-Because I’m scared I’ll get swapped out for someone else. I want to stay on the court.” He bows a bit, “I want to be here on the court until the very end.”    
  


“Stop underestimating us! We know you suck!” Tanaka raises his voice a bit, startling Shouyou into meeting his gaze, “You think Daichi didn’t know that when he said you could play?!” 

_ Is this… A pep talk? A really really scary pep talk?  _

“Don’t worry about getting switched out until it happens, ya dingus! Everyone on this side of the net, everyone wearing this jersey, we’re all your allies and don’t you ever forget that! That’s what your senpais are here for!” 

  
  
“Woah!” 

  
  
“Go on, you can say it.” 

  
  
“Tanaka-Senpai!!” Shouyou cheers, smiling at the way Tanaka’s face lights up. 

This is his team. He doesn’t have to be so nervous with a great support system like this. It’ll be alright. 

The second round starts and Shouyou fears once more when he misses a spike attempting their new quick set. 

The ball didn’t hit his hand. He doesn’t like that feeling of emptiness when he was waiting on it. 

Turnip-Head from the other team wobbles over and speaks through the net. 

“You have to keep up with the King’s tosses or else you’ll be nothing to him, you know?” Before the fear can creep up on him again, Shouyou’s name is called harshly. 

“Hinata!”  _ Oh god oh god oh god- “ _ Sorry, my toss ended up too high. It’s on me.”  _ Oh god…..Wait. What?!  _

“I  _ guess _ I can forgive you.” Shouyou huffs, crossing his arms. Kageyama abruptly turns back around and grabs a handful of his hair, pulling. “AH! STOP I’M GOING TO BE BALD CUT IT OUT YOU DUMBASS.” 

“Perish.” 

“NO!” 

* * *

Tobio’s heart is pounding when their quick set works. The way the court goes silent. The way he can see he fooled the other team using Hinata. The way even Hinata himself can’t believe it. 

“YES!” He and Hinata shout, before his team joins in.

Captain Daichi calls them for a celebratory huddle, and Tobio finds himself thinking over Hinata’s reaction. 

“It’s like team spirit or something!” He shouts excitedly, bouncing on the balls of his feet. 

“It’s not ‘like’ anything dude,” Tanaka explains, “It  _ is  _ team spirit, because we’re a team!” 

It wasn’t until recently Tobio’s considered himself lucky for having a team. It was just one of those things that was a given. It wasn’t a privilege to him until he realized not everyone can play with one. 

Hinata hasn’t had that privilege until now and Tobio can tell he’d sooner die than give it up.

It’s making him rethink a lot about volleyball and just how lucky he is to play it. 

He’s even been rethinking the whole ‘team’ thing because of Hinata and his dumb attitude.

“Alright. We have Hinata back!” Tobio announces, meeting Hinata’s eyes a moment. “Let’s win this now.” The team, all but Tsukishima, gives enthusiastic answers. Tobio sees it again. The intense fear in Hinata’s eyes when Tobio looks at him. Did he do something? 

Hinata is teasing the opposing team’s blockers, baiting them into a trap without realizing it. Tobio sends the toss to Tanaka, getting the point. Hinata hits the ground with a red face, covering it. 

“I even said ‘Oh yeah? Come at me!’ and everything and it didn’t come to me, I’m going to die.” He whines, turning away. 

“That was the point. We got the point because you were a decoy, tricking them. It only worked because you believed you were getting a spike.” Tobio explains, hating that he finds Hinata a bit endearing with how embarrassed he looks. 

  
“That’s it?” Hinata asks with a head tilt. 

  
  
“That’s it.” Tobio confirms, heading back to his position on the court. 

The win the second set, meaning they get to play a third. 

As Tobio tells Daichi not to relax just yet, that he thinks this setter isn’t the main setter, he’s proven right by a familiar face on the court. 

_ Oikawa.  _

His former teammate meets his eyes with a… smug look.  _ Is that smug?  _ He’s never been very good at reading Oikawa. Which may prove an issue playing against him. 

“Oh, you’re back. How’s the ankle?” Their coach asks Oikawa.  _ He’s injured too?  _

“Tip-top shape. I’m good to play as normal.” He answers with a smile and ‘ok’ sign. 

Tanaka asks who he is after he sees Oikawa responding to the audience’s flirting, saying he doesn’t like him. 

“The captain of Seijoh. Oikawa is an aggressive setter with top level attack power. He might be one of the strongest hitters on his team.” Tobio thinks over more, “And he has a shitty personality.” 

  
  
“Coming from you?!” Hinata blurts out.  _ Eh? What’s that supposed to mean.  _ Still, he nods. 

“Worse than Tsukishima.” 

  
  
“And you know this guy from junior high?” Tanaka asks, still eyeing Oikawa. 

  
  
“He was my senpai.” Tobio confirms, sure Oikawa knows he’s being watched.

The one in question turns and meets Tobio’s gaze, smiling and waving. 

“Long time no see, Tobio!” Oikawa greets.  _ Why are you talking to me like that?  _ Oikawa never spoke to him like that, it's almost creepy.

“....Hi.” He nods back, feeling oddly relieved when Oikawa immediately moves to talk to Iwaizumi. 

“I learned blocking and serving from watching him.” Tobio continues explaining, not missing the way Hinata tenses. He turns to the boy, “We have to focus on the match. You.” He moves forward, grabbing Hinata’s collar and dragging him along. 

“What’re you doing?!” Hinata whines, smacking his arm to try and get out of the hold. 

“We’re going to fill our water bottles.” 

  
  
“Does he realize how suspicious this all looks…” Tanaka trails, getting a chuckle from Tsukishima. 

“You didn’t even grab your water bottles.” Tsukishima calls out in a mocking tone. Tobio freezes and grabs them, now opting to drag Hinata by the hair. 

Once outside the gym, Tobio walks, knowing Hinata’s following. He walks past the water fountain and around the corner. The moment he does so, he sees what he was expecting. 

Hinata’s limping again. 

“How are you doing?” Tobio asks, nodding down at his teammates leg. 

“It’s about normal, I think.” Hinata hums, realizing why he was brought out here. “It hurts now and it’s going to be super sore after this.” 

“Do you want to ask coach if you could si-” 

  
  
“I’m not getting benched!” Hinata snaps at him, taking this chance to sit down anyways. “I told you. I’m staying on the court.” 

  
  
“If you hurt yourself too much you risk sitting out the rest of the season, you know that right? You can only push yourself so far.” 

“Why are you lecturing me?” Hinata’s voice is a bit quiet. Tobio sees he’s keeping his eyes on the ground.

“Can I ask you something?” 

  
  
“...What?” 

  
  
“Why were you so scared this whole match? Why did you suck at playing more than usual?” He gets a small glare for asking. 

“Because.” 

“...Because what?!” Now this is a bit annoying. 

“Because I didn’t want to get thrown away.” Hinata huffs, finally looking at him. 

“Huh?!” 

  
  
“You’re the king!”  _ Ah. Ouch.  _ “You--You-You throw out anyone who doesn’t b-benefit you! Someone who doesn’t help you win is someone  _ useless,  _ right?!” 

  
  
“Uh-”  _ The hell is he talking about.  _

  
  
“You have the best of the best on your team! People who are guaranteed to win with your tosses and if they don’t meet that standard then… Then you throw them away.” 

_ Dumbass.  _

“Hinata.” He hardly moves and the spiker flinches a bit. It’s concerning, but Tobio supposes he does have a reputation. “You might have been obsessing over volleyball for the last three years, but you’re new to the sport.” 

  
  
Hinata meets his eyes, and Tobio wants to know what he’s been told to make his expression that fearful. 

“You suck. Plain and simple. I envy your athleticism, your jump and your reflex but god you’re awful otherwise. On top of that look at you, you’re an injured player. You’re so hurt you have to fake a walk just to stay in the game.” He huffs with a wave of his hand. 

“I get it.” Hinata snaps. 

“No. You don’t.” Tobio snaps back, annoyed that he’s too fucking stupid to get what he’s saying. “You’re all of this things but you’re still playing, and you’re still getting sets.” 

  
  
“...Huh?” 

“If I were going to be ‘throwing people away’ or whatever the hell you said, you wouldn’t have been on my court to begin with.” 

“Oh.” 

“Next set is probably starting soon.” Tobio notes, “We should actually fill our water bottles.” 

* * *

Tooru’s aimed at the blond guy with glasses on Karasuno’s team twice now, and he gives a nice wave and smile at the gnarly glare he gets from the boy. 

The shortie nearby yells at him. 

“Hey Grand King!” He shouts with a small hop.  _ Grand what now?  _ “Aim some at me! Do it I dare you!” How interesting. The worst receiver on their team wants the ball. Blondie scolds him and Chibi-chan shuts up.

Karasuno shuffles a bit, and Tooru is almost touched they’re putting that much effort into defense. 

The match moves on, and Tooru is a little surprised at how high Chibi-chan can jump, seeing as he got a chance ball trying to block Kindaichi.  _ He’s out for who’ll spike next, at least-  _

The movement is so fast he hardly registers it at first. The kid with orange hair hits the ground after getting the chance ball, and he pivots and sprints to the other side of the court, in the air before Tobio even has the ball to set. 

Orange eyes lock onto Tooru and he finds himself unmoving, even as the ball is spiked past his face and into their court. 

Terrifying in the best way. The kind of scary that makes him want to send a few tosses that kid’s way one day. 

Number 10 hits the ground with a slight stumble and Tooru hones in. The small hissing through teeth, the momentary scrunching of his face. 

_ He’s in pain.  _

Maybe he landed weird. Maybe that little stunt he just pulled is a complete fluke and he hurt himself trying to pull it off at all. 

Maybe. 

_ Oh… This kid’s wearing pants.  _ He’s the only one on this court wearing full pants instead of shorts. Tooru can probably guess a few reasons why, be it he gets cold easily or having some sort of scarring he doesn’t want others seeing. 

Though… Is it really worth it?

He still risks getting too hot, therefore too sweaty and making the floor slippery. He risks stepping on his pant leg. 

Despite being the enemy, Tooru still kind of hopes he considered this beforehand. 

After all, what good a life is it if you can’t play volleyball?

“Wow.” Tooru breathes, aware the rest of his team is sighing in frustration. 

_ Oh. We lost.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> howdy howdy howdy im alive ig
> 
> anyways i honestly. do not have much to say lmao i'm just chilling
> 
> THOUGH. follow my art instagram if you wanna!! I did a lil digital painting of hinata a while ago i still really like
> 
> instagram: Jellofello22  
tumblr: jello-fello
> 
> OH and my comic, SELF AWARE: https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/self-aware/list?title_no=330088
> 
> see ya next timeeee


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